


Two hustlers and a toddler

by sarux



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Angst, Children, Cute Kids, Domestic Fluff, Drama, F/F, Family, Family Drama, Female Friendship, Flashbacks, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love, Married Couple, Married Life, Original Character(s), Post heist, Post-Canon, Short, Sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:02:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 22,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarux/pseuds/sarux
Summary: The marvelous life of two hustlers, a toddler and a bunch of crazy aunties. Cute and fun moments but also a bit of drama like the real life.
Relationships: Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean
Comments: 51
Kudos: 140





	1. Morning after work

**Author's Note:**

> First of all: English is not my first language and this is my second fic for this fandom (actually my very first. I deleted the really first one hahahaha)  
> Second: thanks to Sophie for the tittle and Cris for being my beta always no matter what. 
> 
> So sorry if there’s some mistakes. Anyway, if you want to send some prompt, I’ll be so happy to write. This is a short fanfic (I am thinking in some ideas for other chapters anyway) but If you like it I could keep writing about this story, just tell me about it. Please let me know!

Lou only could yawn when she finally arrived at home after a long long shift at the club and she barely crawled upstairs to her bedroom. It was a long and hard night. December was a tough month because all those office Christmas parties that ended at her club. She just dreamt to fall asleep at her bed until at least midday… but when she saw that her side of the bed was actually occupied she remembered she couldn’t sleep yet. She smiled as she approached and observed the cutest scene in front of her. Her blondie, tiny daughter was sleeping, hugging her stuffed bear and doing those cute faces and Debbie was snoring by her side. 

"Morning Miss Stardust" she whispered, crouched and rubbing her daughter’s back. Lou kissed the top of her head.

The girl moved but she didn’t open her eyes.

" I can hear you" she said "but I won’t" she murmured, with her high-pitched voice.

Lou smiled. Debbie was still sound asleep. She rolled her eyes… She was almost 100% sure that she was faking it. 

"Don’t ‘frozen’ me young lady… It’s time to wake up, come on." Lou picked her up and held the baby girl in her arms.

"It’s so early, mama" she said, still sleepy and putting her head on Lou’s shoulder as they got out of the bedroom, leaving Debbie still sleeping.

*—*

Ziggy was watching cartoons after getting ready for preschool. Lou would have never imagined this life for her. Married with a child. She’d never had those kind of dreams with a wife, a daughter etc, but this was her life now and she couldn't be more proud. She really was loving the Friday’s routine, when she came back home after work and picked up her baby girl from pre K. 

"Are you ready, monkey?" she asked when she put down the cup of coffee at the sink.

"Yeah, I finished my _Brekkie."_ Ziggy jumped off the sofa and went to the front door, where Lou was waiting with her ‘Frozen’ backpack and her jacket, and smiled when she heard her daughter talking like her, with a slight Australian accent. She was in that phase where she copied her moms in everything "Are we going on the bike?"

"You know you’re still too little to go on my bike, darling." Lou said playing with the keys while they walked to her car.

"But I want to." Ziggy answered, frowning. She was stubborn as Debbie.

"But you can’t. And mommy would kill us."

"Mommy!"

Lou saw her daughter running inside the loft again and she just could follow her.

"I forgot ‘the goodbye kiss’, mama." Ziggy said with a little lisp in the word ‘kiss’ and went upstairs, followed by her mother. Lou smiled when the girl entered the bedroom and approached to Debbie slowly enough to not wake up her. "Love you mom" she whispered and kissed Debbie’s cheek.

"Love you, baby. Have a nice day" Debbie’s murmured when Ziggy walked away and she barely opened her eyes and smiled at Lou.

Lou crouched and kiss Debbie’s lips.

"Go back to sleep."

"Yeah"Debbie moved again, hugging her pillow."don’t you stay chit-chatting with the others moms and come back soon."

"I wouldn’t, babe."Lou laughed and get out of the room.

*—*

They arrived to the school just in time. The others parents, as a opposed to Lou, were in a rush to dropped their children at school. Almost all of them they were running to go to work and others just sent their kids with the nanny. She just had all the morning to take Ziggy to school and come back home to Debbie and maybe plan some easy heist or work on the finances of the club. She walked to the door of her daughter's class while they were talking and Ziggy was saying ‘hello’ to every person they passed on the hallway.

"Hello Miss Hart" said Ziggy while she went to her rack and hanged her jacket. "Bye mama, love you" she said waving her hand to said goodbye to Lou."Later" Ziggy sat down on her site and started to talk with Amanda, her best friend.

Lou stuck around the classroom along with the other parents, watching how their kids started the day. At first, Ziggy hated go to preK and she was shy enough to need Lou or Debbie by her side supporting her and left her with the teacher. Now, she had gained a lot of confidence in the last few weeks and she didn't need support anymore. Lou loved that, even though she wasn't her birth mom, Ziggy was almost a copy of her. Not only because they were both blonde and had blue eyes, but because they had the same personality.

Lou waited a few seconds more and finally after the teacher closed the door, she went back to her car, ready to come home and maybe being able to get some sleep for a few hours. If Debbie wanted of course. She didn’t have much faith in that. 


	2. The flu can be worse than jail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debbie and Lou are celebrating their love, but they need to come back to the loft ASAP. I am very bad with all the summary stuff sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, English is not my first language but MY BETA of this chapter @hope_savaria (YOU NEED TO READ HER WORK IF YOU DON'T DO YET) rocks!!!! she's the best. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Lou and Debbie were making out in a hotel king size bed, celebrating their belated anniversary when Debbie’s phone started to buzz.

“What now?” Lou asked after Debbie hung up and moved, looking for her clothes. It wasn’t the first call of the night and she was starting to feel desperate.

Debbie threw her bra and shirt to Lou’s face.

“Our great nanny of the night thinks Zig’s got a fever. We have to come back… Connie is freaking out” she answered, getting her clothes on.

“Tell me again why we left our daughter with Constance…?” Lou jumped off the bed and started to dress herself. She knew it wasn’t a good idea in the first place. 

“Babe, it’s our 3rd wedding anniversary.” Debbie kissed Lou “We needed to get a night off just for us.”

“Yeah, I know, but why didn’t we call Tammy?”

“She’s very busy with the work on the new house and also Derek had flu”

Lou snorted.

“Amita?”

“Travelling Europe with her new boyfriend.”

“She’s living her best life…” Lou laughed “Nine ball? Daphne? Rose?”

“Leslie is visiting V at Stanford, Daphne is in London working on her new movie and Rose is with her… You ready?”

“Yeah.” Lou followed her wife out of the hotel room “So, our best chance to getting a romantic and relaxing night was to leave our daughter with another kid… Maybe it wasn’t the best option.”

Debbie grabbed some hotel room stuff off the cleaning trolley in the hallway and put it in her pocket. Lou rolled her eyes, even paying for the most expensive suite at that hotel and getting a bunch of millions in her bank account, Debbie really couldn’t help it.

“She’s almost 30”

“Really? Do I need to answer that?”

*—*

When they arrived at the loft, they found her baby girl wrapped in her ‘Star Wars’ blanket lying on the sofa and watching Disney channel. It didn’t seem so bad and Lou couldn’t believe they left the hotel room while Constance really seems to have everything under control.

“I’m so sorry guys, I was really worried… She was coughing a lot… I didn’t know what to do… and she didn’t want to take the medicine and started to cry because she wanted you” Constance said, sitting on sofa beside the baby girl.

Ziggy laughed about some silly joke in the cartoons and started to cough again.

“Hey, Ziggy, baby, how are you?” Debbie said with her sweet mom voice, approaching to the sofa and putting her hand on her daughter’s forehead. “She’s hot.” She looked to Constance “Did you finally give her the medicine?”

Lou turned off the TV and sat down beside Constance, who was still really worried.

“No, she just wanted cookies and yogurt”

“Ziggy Danielle Ocean-Miller…” Lou said serious “You’re going to take the medicine right now”

“No.”

“Ziggy…”

“I hate it. I don’t need the medicine.” The girl got up coughing and walked away from her mothers. She went to the kitchen to try to get more cookies, climbing the furniture. Lou followed her, and when her mom picked her up, Ziggy started to cry. Lou really hated when Ziggy was getting flu. When the girl was feeling awful, she always had her worst tantrums ever.

“Yes, you do. If you don’t take your medicine…” Lou was losing her patience, while Debbie and Constance were trying to help. “We aren’t going to see the Christmas tree with the aunties”

Ziggy stopped crying and looked at her mom very serious.

“Yeah baby, you need to take the medicine now before you get worse” said Debbie, using her sweet voice again.

“But…”

“And if you don’t take it, Auntie Con will feel sad, right Aunt Connie?”

Constance nodded.

*—*

After a few hours, Debbie entered her own room, wearing soft and cozy pajamas, the opposite of the lingerie she was wearing hours before at the hotel room. Lou smiled, raising her eyes from the book she was reading at the moment. She took off her reading glasses and left the book on the night table as Debbie lay down at her side of the bed, after a kiss to Lou’s lips.

“How is she?”

“She’s drinking beer and playing video games downstairs… She seems better now that we are here.”

Lou laughed and rolled her eyes.

“I meant Zi.”

Debbie laughed too.

“Yeah, I know. I’m joking…” Debbie cuddled up with Lou. “She took her medicine and two cookies after you left, and she’s finally sleeping… She doesn’t have a fever now, but if tomorrow she's feeling worse we’ll go to the doctor”

“Yeah… that seems best”

Lou moved and started to kiss Debbie’s neck, and when Lou’s teeth sank into her skin, not hard enough to hurt, it caught Debbie’s attention, and she moaned. 

“Mmm… Aren’t you going to the club today, babe?”

Lou smiled. She was thinking of going to the pub since her plans of a romantic night were cancelled, and Ari, her manager, had called her to say there was a problem with the watered-down vodka… but she didn’t actually want to leave the loft and leave Debbie alone with Ziggy and the flu situation.

“I wanna stay here, with you.” Lou moved her lips and tongue against the sensitive skin over Debbie’s pulse point. “We can have our romantic moment here… if we’re quiet.” Debbie felt her breathing speed up when she lay back and Lou’s hand slipped under the oversized shirt of the pajamas, and her palm caresses her breast slowly until they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Mama.” a high-pitched and sad voice sounded on the other side of the door. 

Lou smiled to Debbie and moved away, sitting around the cover and the pillows.

“Come on in, baby.”

Ziggy waited in the middle of the room, in front of the giant bed, wearing her cute astronaut pajamas with messy hair and watery eyes.

“What happened, monkey? Did you feel sick?”

Ziggy moved her head to deny.

“I can’t sleep,” she lisped “Can I… Can I be with you two in bed?”

Debbie and Lou looked at each other and smiled.

“Come here, baby.” They moved to leave a space between them, and Ziggy climbed onto the bed, carrying 'Nana', her favorite stuffed bear with her. She settled down and closed her eyes hugging her toy, and Debbie started to rub her back, unable to look away from Lou and her daughter.

“Happy anniversary?”

Lou laughed and threw her pillow at Debbie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for read :) kudos and comments are appreciate :)


	3. Happy New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New year’s eve celebration and some wishes to the family Ocean-Miller are here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year readers!!!!  
> All the best for you and thank you so much to follow this story. I hope you like this chapter... After a little block and a christmas flu this is what is it...  
> Aaaaaand thanks a lot to my beta @hope_savaria. She’s the best :)

“Do whatever you want…”

Lou looked at Debbie with her feelings mixed up. She wanted to kill her because she hates when she says that, but at the same time she just feels awful and wants to apologize and kiss her… She knew on some level her wife was right and going to the club on New Year’s Eve wasn’t the best but… But it was her work, her club… and she did work hard to get it, and she promised Alana she could have the day off to be with her family, after working that night five years in a row. It was fair to the girl, and it was too late to call someone she really trusted to manage the staff and the liquor, etc…

“Honey…” Lou followed Debbie around the loft.

“Don’t. Don’t you honey me… You should talk with your daughter… She expected to go to Times Square with us or at least have a small party at home…” she whispered.

“Really?” Lou rolled her eyes. “She never mentioned Times Square…”

“Argggg…Really Louise, do whatever you want”

“Oh… Now we’re using full names, ok, Deborah”

Debbie frowned and started walking again, ignoring Lou. Lou sighed and followed her to the kitchen, as Ziggy lay on the carpet playing with her new legos that she got for Christmas.

Nine ball, who had been there since the morning and felt the bad atmosphere around the Ocean-Millers, sat down on the sofa in front of Ziggy.

“They still arguing?”

“Yep,” Ziggy answered without looked at her auntie. She was concentrated on the toys, and even being just a toddler she knew when mommy was angry with mama. “Aaaall morning” she said just like Debbie would say it.

“About what?

“I don’t know… I’m just a kid…” she said, finally looking to Nine Ball. “Something about work at the club I think…I dunno”

Nine ball smiled.

“Girl, you’re so smart for being just 4 years old”

“I am almost 5”

“Yeah, you’re alright.” Nine Ball looked at her and smiled as Debbie ended the argument with Lou and went out, closing the front door with all her force.

“You ok, mama?” Nine ball asked sitting beside Lou at the kitchen counter as she was watched her daughter playing in the living room as if everything was ok.

“Yeah… It was…just a silly argument… I don’t know” she sighed “I have to work at the club on New Year’s Eve, and Debbie got mad”

“Well…”

“Yeah, I know” Lou sighed again “I want to be with my family, too… Even when Debbie hurts me saying I’m not as committed to Ziggy as her because she was the one who carried her”

“What...?”

“She knows how to hurt…I don’t care, she doesn’t really mean it...She just was pushing. Anyway… I don’t trust anyone other than Alana, and she deserves a happy night with her family too… She’s been working that night since… before Ziggy born, I mean five years…”

“I can help you…”

*-*

The last day of December and the year arrived and the mood between Debbie and Lou still was the same. They barely talked about anything, and Lou hated starting the new year that way… but Debbie was stubborn; she couldn’t do more… She looked at the crowd dancing on the dance floor from her office and looked at her phone. She sighed. She missed Debbie and Ziggy. She really wanted to go home.

“Hey Boss, I am here” Nine ball announced opening the door.

She looked her and one more time to the dance floor, and everything seems all under control… And she really trusts in Leslie to being in charge.

“Lou.”

“mmm?”

“Go the fuck home and celebrate with your wife and your monkey.”

Lou smiled and walked to Leslie, hugging her and kissing her on each cheek.

“Call me if…”

“Yeah… Got it”

Lou looked at the girl one last time before leaving.

“Hey, Les… Thank you.” She smiled.

“Happy New Year, Lou”

“Happy New Year, darling”

*-*

Debbie was drinking champagne in her pajamas watching Ziggy wearing her new kangaroo onesie. She was trying to be awake to celebrate the New Year with her mommy. But she was missing Lou, and Debbie did too, like crazy. They were celebrating alone, since Tammy was in Florida with her family, Nine Ball was with V, Daphne and Rose were in Ireland with Rose’s cousins, Amita was visiting her sister in India and Constance was at a youtuber’s party or something like that. Debbie didn’t really pay attention when she talked about it.

“Babe…”

Ziggy smiled at her mommy when she talked, showing all her tiny teeth.

“Wanna go to see mama?”

The emotion reflected at Ziggy’s eyes was all what Debbie needed as answer. She smiled, put her coat on, grabbed Ziggy in her arms and walked to the front door. She opened it and crashed into Lou, who was just outside.

“What the…?” she frowned, carrying Ziggy.

“MAMA,” she yelled and threw herself to Lou’s arms.

“Baby!” She hugged and kissed her baby girl and looked directly into Debbie’s eyes. “Where are you going?”

“We were going to celebrate New Year’s Eve with you, dumbass” Debbie smiled. “We missed you.” Lou kissed Debbie’s lips with Ziggy still in her arms, laughing.”What are you doing here, by the way…? The club?”

“Everything’s ok… Leslie is in charge.”She sighed. “I missed you too, you guys… I missed you a lot, I came to celebrate with my loves…”

“Oh…”

“Oh…” Lou’s answered smiling. “So… Can I come in?”

Debbie smiled and went inside again but this time with the love of her life and their kid. Ziggy was really happy the moment they crossed the door. She was jumping on the sofa, excited after she showed her new kangaroo onesie to Lou, who actually loved it.

Debbie couldn’t stop looking at Lou and her daughter… She didn’t need anything else to be happy, not even a new heist or a bunch of millions. She just needed her family.

“I’m sorry for what I said the other day…”

“I know…” Lou kissed her “It’s ok, babe”

Debbie nodded and grabbed Lou’s face to kiss her. But they were interrupted by their daughter who screamed in front of the TV. Lou smiled and looked at her and the people on the TV who were celebrating the New Year; they sat down on the sofa beside Ziggy.

“Happy new year, love”

“Happy new year.” Debbie kissed her. “What’s your wish for this year?”

“Mmm I don’t know, I can’t expect more than this happiness…”

Debbie rolled her eyes. “I want diamonds…”

Lou laughed and shook her head, denying. Yes, Debbie will never change.

“Can I say my wish, mommy?” Ziggy asked, sitting on her lap.

“Sure, monkey”

Lou looked at them both smiling.

“I wish… for a brother or a sister.” She smiled.

Lou stopped smiling and went pale. Debbie did the same, as Ziggy started to talk about how fun it would be to have a sibling and be the big sister.


	4. How I met your mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ziggy has a lot of questions about her moms. She needs to know and she will know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more time:
> 
> 1\. I changed the title, I think it fit better.  
> 2\. English is not my first language, that’s why the marvelous @hope_savaria is my beta and she’s the best. Go read her work!  
> 3\. If you want to send me prompts I’ll be so happy to try to write about it.  
> 4\. Kuddos and comments will do my day better :) thank you for read!  
> 5\. Have a nice weekend!

Debbie looked around her and smiled. She liked when the loft was quiet and she could enjoy the silence reading a good book when her daughter was taking a nap or the girls (especially Constance) were out, but she really loved the days like that when she improvised a night with her team of misfits. Amita was learning a card trick from Constance, since she wasn’t allowed to skate inside the house. She entertained showing what can she do with her hands. Daphne was cuddling up with Rose as they read a fashion magazine, and Tammy was in the kitchen filling a bowl of popcorn with Nine ball who was grabbing a beer from the fridge. Debbie approached the jukebox where Lou was watching Ziggy who was dancing, dressed in her favorite tulle skirt made by Auntie Rose, over her pajamas and singing with her own words to the song it was playing at the machine: Dreams by Fleetwood mac.

“Missy. It’s bed time” Debbie put her head at Lou’s shoulder and ran her hand over Lou’s waist.

“No… It’s party time”

Lou couldn’t help it and laughed, trying to hide it.

“Zig, come on, it’s late and you have school tomorrow” Debbie was very patient with her daughter.

Ziggy was having her best time, as always with her aunties visiting them, even when Derek and Keri didn’t come. Ziggy loved to play with Constance, the Asian was always ready to play with her; she also liked trying on Amita’s jewelry and helping her with new designs, playing runway with Auntie Rose and acting with Daphne. She liked how Tammy grabs her and hugs her, and she has a lot of fun with Nine ball.

“Five minutes”

“Nope.”

“Really, Deborah?”

“Really, Ziggy,” said Debbie, concerned about how her daughter called her by her name, impersonating Lou. She was starting to lose patience.

“Two minutes,” said Lou, intruding, before Debbie got mad. “Say good night to all your aunts, take off your skirt and brush your teeth. Mom is right, you have school tomorrow”

“Mama, you’re no fun either,” she whispered walking to say goodbye to her aunties. “You owe me a bedtime story”

“You’re right kiddo,” Lou said.She sat down on the sofa for a moment talking about the club with Nine Ball as Ziggy kissed Rose and Daphne “I’ll be in your room in five, go with mom”

“Night Ziggy, see you tomorrow,” said Constance, hugging her before she returned to do tricks with Amita.

*—*

When Lou entered her daughter’s room (one of the rooms where she put all Debbie’s stuff when she was in jail), everything was quiet and just illuminated by a few fairy lights that were hanging from the shelf. Ziggy was very persistent about having them on all night. She didn’t like darkness. Lou looked at some pictures of their family on the wall, and she smiled at all the toys in her room.

“You need to organize your room, young lady.” She looked at the bed where Ziggy was waiting for her mama, and Debbie was lying beside her. “Ok, what story do you want to listen to tonight?” They always told her funny stories about when she was a baby before she went to sleep as a bedtime story.

“I want something special,” Ziggy said, settling down.

“Your choice.” Lou sat down on the edge of the mattress.

“How you met mommy?”

“How I… what?” Lou was shocked. Ziggy turned her head and looked at Debbie. “Mommy? Amanda’s mommy met her dada at McDonald’s… I just want to know too.”

Debbie sighed and looked at Lou who was still without words. She knew she had to say something fast before Ziggy started with all kinds of questions.

“So… Mama and I…were young… like Auntie Leslie or Auntie Con… And… we… we were… at the library…Yes…we were there because we liked to study a lot.”

Debbie had a degree in lying to people but she really was nervous about lying to her own kid and knew it was a bad plan. She couldn’t help it; she couldn’t say that she met Lou when she was trying to steal her wallet in a club. 

Lou arched an eyebrow and motioned trying to stop the lie. Debbie rolled her eyes. Kids say everything they hear, know, or do to everybody. She couldn’t risk everything telling the truth… If she says she and Lou were hustlers and they met because of that… The next people to know the entire story will be Ziggy’s teachers from PreK.

“But what happened, mama…? Tell me a story! How you fell in love with mom?”

Lou and Debbie looked at each other. They don’t know how to explain without lies to their daughter and expose them. Lou lay down, letting Ziggy snuggle between them and rubbed Ziggy’s nose.

“You know… I remember the night… day… I mean day, I met your mommy… She was young as she said… But she was incredible; I fell in love the moment I looked at her… She was getting in an argument with your uncle Danny. He knew she couldn’t… get what she wanted from me…” Lou cleared her throat. “But she was stubborn, as she still is…” She sighed. “She was confident and clever… She was brilliant, loyal and so beautiful.” She smiled looking at Debbie with love. “After that we hung out and I got to know her better, and she was the best person I ever met… She was… She’s perfect.”

Debbie was really touched with tears in her eyes. She leaned carefully and grabbed Lou by the chin and kissed her.

“She fell asleep when you said I am stubborn.”

“I know” she said into her lips, without breaking the kiss.

Debbie smiled. She kissed Ziggy’s forehead and murmured something before she stood and walked to the door followed by Lou. They looked just one more time to her daughter and went out of the room, before closed the door.

“Lou.” Debbie stopped her before they went downstairs to the crew. “I am thinking about what Ziggy said on New Year’s Day… we should talk.”


	5. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ziggy got in troubles and Debbie and Lou need to have a talk with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I didn’t think to update today...But here I am! Anyway... My beta and friend Hope is the best!!! Go to read her last chapter of her work, There’s really hot!! 
> 
> Thank you for still being here!
> 
> Dedicated to all the lgtb families! (This chapter is based on real events)

Debbie looked at the screen of her iPhone and took her coat off, sitting again beside Lou. Luckily it was an early spring day for January and it was warm enough. She bit her lip looking around her and sighed, moving her leg nervously until her wife’s hand stopped her. She ran her fingers through her hair in another nervous tick and looked at Lou. The blonde gestured to her and rubbed her thigh trying to relax her. Debbie sighed again.

“Why did they call us in such a rush, but now we’re left here waiting?” she whispered.

“Calm down, Deb. everything will be ok.” Lou moved her hand, rubbed her back.

“I know, but I don’t like coming here.” She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her heels making an annoying noise that made the secretary rise her eyes from the computer.

“What’s that…?” Lou smiled, teasing her. “Are you nervous to go to the principal’s office?” she laughed “Oh, I know, you were that kind of girl who spent all her time in the detention room when you were in school… and you were sent many time to see the principal.”

“Shut up.”

Just when Lou was going to mock her again, the door was opened and a moment later, a crying kid and a redheaded good-looking woman stared at them angrily from the doorway.

“Miss Ocean, Miss Miller you can come in now,” said the secretary pointing to the door.

“Miss Ocean-Miller,” murmured Debbie while she walked to the door. She was tired that it always seemed like they weren’t married.. After Principal Smith shook her hand, she sat in a chair in front of the principal’s desk. She waited to hear what happened with her daughter and why they called them to talk.

“Is everything ok with Ziggy?” interrupted Lou. “Is she ok?”

“Yeah, she’s ok. She’s coming with her teacher now… We called you because we had an incident with her and Cameron, the kid who left before you came…”

Debbie nodded and the principal cleared his throat very nervously.

“We think the school and the parents…we need to have a talk with Ziggy… Her behavior… wasn’t the best.”

Debbie stood up and pacing around the office.

“What do you mean? She’s four, for god sake, she can hardly brush her teeth alone…” Debbie looked briefly to Lou who was biting her bottom lip in silence. “She’s at pre K. What did she do? She steal something?”

“Deborah.” Lou yelled.

“What?”

The principal looked at them and started to explain what happened with Ziggy and her schoolmate. Debbie sat in the chair again and drummed her fingers on the table. She frowned. Everything that he was telling about her daughter didn’t seem to fit with who she really was. After Ziggy arrived in the office with her teacher, they started to talk to her but the girl didn’t want to say anything about the incident and she started to cry. Lou and Debbie decided to go home with her and have a talk with her at the loft without the principal or the teacher. They warned the school that they would talk through the incident, and Ziggy wouldn’t come back to school till next week.

**

The way back to the loft was very quiet. They usually listened to Disney songs when they picked up Ziggy from school, but it wasn’t the mood for music. Lou was focused on driving and Debbie was lost in her thoughts, while Ziggy knew her moms were worried and a bit upset. She was little, but knew her moms enough. Lou parked the car in the gravel by the back door of the loft. Lou looked at Debbie.

“Inside.”

Debbie nodded and followed her out after helping Ziggy. Once they were inside the loft, Lou went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water as Debbie carried Ziggy and let her lie down on the sofa, and she sat at the coffee table in front of her. Ziggy hid her head under the pillow.

“Baby…Why did you do that?”

Lou sat down on the floor and rubbed Ziggy’s back. She looked at her moms through the pillow and finally she sat up looking directly at their eyes. She was almost crying.

“You’re a good girl… You know… We don’t hit people or get into fights.”

“Or scratch,” Lou added.

Ziggy’s lip trembled.

“I know Mama”

“You hurt Cameron, hun,” Debbie said sad “But I know… even if it wasn’t the way we want you to react…there was a reason”

Lou nodded.

“He hurt me too, mom… He said I can’t have two moms.” She started to cry. “He said I am a liar… I can’t have two moms because it’s not normal… and he said I’m weird because I said I have two moms… and he repeated it again and again that it’s not possible…” She threw herself into Debbie’s arms and hugged her. “And I love you both…mom…I want to have two moms. I want to have you two.”

Debbie hugged her tightly feeling bad for her daughter and how even though she was just a kid she had to deal with closed mind people like Cameron and of course his parents, because she knew he wasn’t the real problem. She never thought about that when she got pregnant. It was the first time they’d had this kind of problem with Ziggy and she felt awful. Debbie looked to Lou, she got close to them and hugged her daughter too, with her blue eyes wet.

“Baby…” Lou sighed. Her voice was broken “We love you so much and we will be together always.”

“Yeah.” Debbie moved away and moved her fingers through Ziggy’s blonde hair “We are your moms.” She smiled. “You know it, and you don’t need to hit a boy to prove it, he doesn’t understand… yet. But if you want to react some way when someone tells you something about us…You can tell them that you have two moms and six aunties…”

Ziggy laughed. Debbie and Lou tickled her.

“And there’s a lot of different ways to be a family but they need to have just one thing in common.”

“What is it, mom?”

“Love,” said Debbie looking at her family before attacking them again with kisses and tickling.

After a lot of love and laughing, Ziggy fell asleep in Lou’s lap. Debbie put her head on Lou’s shoulder and petted Ziggy’s back.

“You really want another one,” Lou whispered looking directly into Debbie’s brown eyes.

She nodded biting her bottom lip. It was crazy. She never was a kid person until she found out she was pregnant, and she thought for Lou it was later than the pregnancy after all that happened between them, but at this moment she couldn’t imagine her life without her daughter… But she could imagine it with another kid around. It was weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know with a comment if you want to know about the back story of Debbie pregnancy and what happened between Lou and her :)


	6. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ziggy has a tough question and Debbie doesn’t know what to say... Just another moment in that chaotic story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it’s been a while but I was travelling and living my best life at Disney and Los Angeles and when I came back I had to catch up with my real life. 
> 
> One more time THANK YOUUUUU to my beta @hope_savaria :)

Lou opened the front door of the loft, carrying Ziggy in her arms. She was totally asleep after a long flight from Australia. When the blonde turned on the lights and saw the mess in the kitchen she spat a loud ‘Fuck Constance’. Ziggy moved in her arms, and grabbed her mama’s neck tight.

Debbie entered their home behind her wife and just frowned. The rest of the loft was the same as the kitchen. She ran her fingers through her hair and dropped her bag on the floor. She was too tired.

“I’m going to kill her, I swear …”

“Let me…” Debbie cleared her throat “Give me Zig, I’m going to lay her on our bed…ok?”

“Yeah.” Lou sighed and watched her screen phone. “She’s going to wake up in a few hours… She slept almost the whole flight.”

“Yeah” Debbie grabbed Ziggy in her arms and yawned “And there’s a huge time difference…”

Lou nodded and walked to the kitchen and started to collect all the empty boxes of pizza and Chinese food as she lit the stove to make tea.

“You guys didn’t have to come with me…” she said.

“Babe, you need us… There wasn’t any other option than to be together.” Debbie kissed her cheek “We’re a family…”

Lou smiled.

“Stop cleaning, Lou!” Debbie said with a serious tone. If Lou doesn’t kill Constance, she will do for sure. They asked her to keep an eye on the loft while they were in Australia, but she actually betrayed their trust. “Constance will clean all her mess… Anyway, I’m going to lay Ziggy on our bed and come back…”

“I’ll be here with tea.”

***

Debbie changed her clothes and her shoes for something more comfy, even though she needed a shower as soon as she could, she really needed to change her clothes. She was so tired after the flight from Melbourne, and maybe later she could share a shower with her wife. Intimacy - was another thing that she needed. She left her daughter in the middle of her bed with all the pillows and the light on her night table turned on, and when she went to the door, she was stopped by Ziggy’s voice.

“Mom,” she murmured half- asleep. “Don’t go…”

She approached the bed and lay beside her, caressing her hair, trying to relax the girl, waiting until she got tired enough to sleep at least two more hours.

“Mom…”she whispered, grabbing her by her waist.

“Mmm?” She closed her eyes.

“When you die… Will you remember me…?”

“What?” Debbie opened her eyes, shocked.

“In heaven… Will you remember me? And mama? You think mama’s nana is remembering her right now?”

“Of course we’re going to… We’re going to be together forever, sweetie,” she said with her voice broken.

Debbie got emotional thinking about that. She couldn’t imagine a moment without her or Lou and she was too tired to control her emotions.Her eyes watered. She remembered how hard it was lose Danny. She misses him a lot. They had benefited from the days off off school for Ziggy. After the homophobic situation, they had decided to take time to travel somewhere.… It just was a bad coincidence that Lou got a call from Australia… Her grandmother (her only living relative) died at 103 years old. She decided to go with Ziggy even though she was too young to go to a funeral; Debbie didn’t want to leave Lou alone.

“Why…we have to die mama? Why is Uncle Danny in heaven?”

Debbie sighed. Her daughter was so clever, even though she was only four, but at the same time her questions were really tough to answer… She didn’t know what to say… They were talking when she asked about it in Australia, but she is just a kid, trying to understand why people die.

“Mama’s nana….was too old, babe, she died because that… she lived a long…”

“But Uncle Danny…You told me about him…”

Debbie loved to talk about Danny with her daughter, ever since the moment she was born, and she thought it was so cute to listen to her talk about him with her high-pitched voice, even though she didn’t really know him…

“He’s an angel, baby, I told you the other day… Uncle Danny is the angel who cares about us over there,” Lou said, scaring Debbie, who didn’t know she entered the bedroom with two cups of tea. “Sorry, love. I didn’t mean to scare you… You didn’t come back, so…”

Debbie nodded. Ziggy smiled when Lou kissed Debbie’s head and gave her the cup of tea. She took off her shoes and sat on the edge of the bed.

“So, Miss Stardust... You going to sleep a little more and let mom rest? She’s tired too.”

“Yeah,” Ziggy nodded, she jumped and kissed Debbie and looked Lou. “I don’t want to see you sad, mama”

“I’m not sad, babe.” Lou put her in the middle of the bed almost forcing her to close her eyes and let them rest too, beside her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you both,” said the girl. “But I can’t sleep anymore…Mom”

Debbie rolled her eyes and laughed. Her idea to share a shower with her wife would have to wait.


	7. Time out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ziggy is going to a sleepover at Tammy’s home and Debbie and Lou will have the time alone they need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first smut in english I write. Be kind pleaseeee!! As I said to my lovely beta @hope_savaria I feel dumber than I really am in my native language when I am writing... but I think this wasn’t so bad...Anyway, thank you to her because she’s the best!! Go read her work! And let me know what you think about this :) I really appreciate your comments!

24 hours. That was the gift Tammy gave them: 24 hours without a toddler around. After Lou’s grandma passed away and they came back to the States, Debbie felt that Lou wasn’t ok, so she asked her best friend for a favor, and now Ziggy was really excited, getting ready for her first sleepover. Debbie moved around her daughter’s room with a backpack in her hands, picking up clothes and toys that Ziggy wanted. She was jumping in bed, chattering about how she’s going to sleep with her cousin Keri and bother Derek and about Tammy is going to cook spaghetti with meatballs for dinner while they watched a Disney movie.

“Are you ready, Zig?” Lou asked from the doorway. “Tammy is downstairs.”

“Is Keri here too?”

“No, baby she’s with her dad at home waiting for you…”

“Oh, OK.” Ziggy shrugged and jumped off the bed, and Lou got her and helped her to put on her shoes.

“Are you sure you are ready baby?”

Debbie finished preparing her backpack and sat down on the edge of the mattress, beside Lou, as she kept talking with Ziggy.

“I mean, if you don’t want to go…”

Debbie frowned. She didn’t understand why Lou said that. They really needed time for themselves… She really couldn’t take her mind off of the shower she wanted to share when they came home from Australia. It was just five days ago, but she really needed to enjoy time with her wife alone, without interruptions, not just to have sex. She wanted the full package: dinner with wine and without cartoons, an adult conversation and the possibility of being able to scream when she had an orgasm.

“I wanna go…” 

“Yeah.” Lou ran her fingers through Ziggy’s hair, trying to brush. “But if you need us, we can come anytime to pick you up and come home, ok? You just have to tell Tammy and she will call us.”

Debbie sighed, confused, and walked to the door as Lou grabbed Ziggy in her arms to go downstairs.

“You’re still so young.”

“I’m not a baby, mama, I’m almost five… I can go to a sleepover…”

“Yeah, ok, you win…”

They arrived downstairs where Tammy was waiting, and after the goodbyes and the final advice, Lou closed the front door and got close to the sofa where Debbie was sitting in silence. She was lost in her own thoughts as she enjoyed the first glass of wine of the night. At that moment she felt further away from Lou than ever, even as she sat beside her, touching her leg with her own.

“What happened?” Debbie asked. She couldn’t take her mind off how weird Lou was. They promised to talk about everything the day they married.

“What? Nothing.”

“Really?” She grimaced and took a sip of the wine “It seemed like you didn’t want to be alone with me…”

“No… It’s not that…”

“So…?”

“She’s just four, Debs, she’s little…”

“Come on… Lou,” Debbie snorted. “That’s not true. She’s with Tammy for god’s sake… She’s the best mom I’ve ever known…” She got up and started to pace around and went to the kitchen to refill her glass of wine. “That’s not the real reason, and I don’t know why you don’t want to talk about it…But I’m tired.”

“And?” Lou sighed and ran her hands over her tights. She looked at Debbie.

“And?” She answered shocked. “And If you don’t want to take a shower with me… I don’t care, I’m going to take time for me... in the shower.” She went to the stairs, with the bottle of wine in one hand and the glass in the other. Debbie looked one more time to Lou. She wanted to scream at her, she wanted to get a reaction from her… an argument; but she just went upstairs in silence.

*-*

The voice of Dolores O’Riordan singing ‘Zombie’ loud enough so she couldn’t hear her own voice echoed in the bathroom. She needed to get out her anger. Debbie looked at herself in the mirror and left the bottle of wine by the sink. After she took off her clothes she entered the shower and regulated the temperature. The hot water slid down Debbie’s face, caressing her skin as a tear mixed with the water. She put her forehead to the wall and even though she was so mad with Lou, she couldn’t help imagine that the small drops falling down her body were her wife’s fingerprints. She sighed and closed her eyes when the song on her phone changed to another one of ‘The Cranberries’, touching herself.

She was concentrating so hard, trying to pull away from all her thoughts, that she didn’t hear when Lou entered the bathroom, undressed and entered the shower behind her. She jumped when she felt Lou’s real fingers caressing her back slowly.

“Lou…” her voice sounded drowned because of the falling water and her feelings choked in her throat.

Lou didn’t say anything, but she pressed against her, hugging Debbie from behind. She slid her hands around her waist and sank her lips to Debbie’s neck. Lou moved close to her, and they seemed like a single body under the water, soaking in silence.

“I’m sorry.” she murmured, kissing the point of Debbie’s pulse. “I’m really sorry…” Her voice sounded broken.

Debbie didn’t answer her… She still had her eyes closed and her forehead leaning against the wall. She sighed and shivered in Lou’s arms when she felt how her wife started tugging her nipples. Even though the tension was thick between them, Lou held her in the sweetest way, moving her hand down between Debbie’s thighs. 

“Lou…”

“I…I know…You need…” Lou growls feeling how her own arousal intensified when she rubbed Debbie’s clit.

“Yeah.” Debbie moved her own hand, helping Lou as she bit her bottom lip. She was trying to talk and breathe properly but Lou’s fingers playing with her folds and clit made it almost impossible.

“I know we need to talk…I’m just…I’m afraid to fuck up.” Lou kissed Debbie’s jaw “We’re going to die...someday,… and….having another kid…”

“Not now, honey…” She sounded desperate. Yeah ok, they promised to talk about everything the day they married… But it wasn’t the right moment to talk.

“Debbie…I’m too old for that…” she mumbled.

Debbie opened her eyes and grabbed Lou’s wrist, stopping her moving. She couldn’t handle this conversation in this situation: naked, in the shower, waiting to come like crazy… She moved and grabbed Lou’s shoulders and pushed her against the wall, switching their positions. Debbie pressed her lips against her in a desperate attempt to shut her up.

Lou smiled against her mouth, struggling against her, returning the kiss with equal passion, and when Debbie separated just enough to breathe, Lou moaned in frustration. Debbie looked in her eyes, and Lou nodded slowly. She pulled her closer, holding onto her neck, fingers tangling and tugging at her hair. She tried to kiss Debbie’s lips, but she pulled away.

Debbie smiled, knowing she was controlling the situation (not that it always happened during sex) and buried her face in Lou’s neck, switching biting to sucking, needing to leave her mark. When she felt satisfied and leaned back, she realized Lou was totally devoted and grinding against her thigh, with her head resting on the tiles, eyes closed as her mouth opened, the water slipping down her body to mix with her own wetness. Debbie considered leaving Lou there, aroused and unsatisfied but she knew she needed this, they both needed it, so she bit her neck harder and revelled in the needy whimper that leaft Lou’s lips.

“Fuck me, babe.” Lou growled, right next to her ear. “I need you.” Debbie felt herself getting wetter and stopped for a second to look at her wife’s eyes again. She smiled and one of her hands moved to Lou’s breast as the other gripped her biceps, holding her against the wall.

Debbie played with her nipples as she had before until both went hard and Lou moaned, trying to move but she couldn’t, she was pressed with Debbie’s hand on her arm against the wall. Debbie’s hand moved further down her stomach, feeling Lou’s soft skin under her fingerprints and making her shiver with her slow touch.

“Please, babe…” She whimpered. “Deb…”

Debbie split off, looking at her and taking two of her own fingers into her mouth, licking them slowly. Lou felt her mouth go dry at the sight in front of her. Her legs were trembling… She needed Debbie inside her, taking control of her, of her orgasm. Now.

Lou grabbed Debbie’s wrist and guided her hand close enough to wander over where she was already warm and wet between her legs.

“You look so hot right now,” Debbie told her, her eyes roaming over Lou’s body freely.

Lou’s breath hitched and she dropped Debbie’s wrist when her fingers rubbed over her clit, gasping when she realized that Debbie was enjoying it too. She looked at her without losing any detail. Debbie slid two fingers easily inside Lou, through her wetness and moved in with precise movements as she curled her back against the wall.

“Deb…” Lou’s voice was low.

Debbie rubbed her clit with her thumb and made Lou lose her mind. She was dripping on Debbie’s hand, whimpering when she hit the right spot inside her, curling her fingers.

“Oh…fuck,” Lou groaned, her hips bucking as Debbie rubbed her clit harder and her body trembled between the wall and Debbie’s body, who was so close to her that she could felt her wife’s arousal, rubbing her nipples with her own and moving her hand harder to make her come.

Debbie stepped back, but her gaze was glued to Lou, the way she was struggling to keep her eyes open in concentration and breathing hard, trying to keep the climax up. Lou let out a shaky laugh of relief once she came down from her high, taking a moment to come back fully to herself under the water. Once she did, her eyes returned to Debbie and smiled.

“Come here, baby.” She hugged her, moved her arms tight around her waist and kissed her, unspoken communication between them. The way to say how she needed that, and how she loves her. “Your turn…” Lou smiled and went to her knees in front of her wife, catching her up from her butt and looked at her.

*-*

“It’s really quiet, right?” Lou smiled, lying in bed, looking at the ceiling.

“Yeah, and you’re really naked.”

Lou laughed. They both were naked and in bed, after having very loud sex with the door open at 2pm, something that never happened in their home with Ziggy around.

“So…” Debbie looked at Lou.

“So…it just was a meltdown”

Debbie licked her bottom lip, she wanted to trust her but she couldn’t help being worried about Lou and how she ignored her and her attempts to talk about their problems the last few days after the funeral.

“But… you said, about having another kid…”

Lou sighed.

“Yeah, it was just… Ziggy was so unexpected, so… It was hard, and I’m so scared right now, we’re not young anymore Debs, are you sure? I mean, my nana died…and everything inside me…fell down.”

“Lou…Your grandma died at 103… I think we can make it, too…”

“Yeah, well…But as I say, we’re not young…If something happened to you…We already have a family, babe…I don’t want…lose you…”

Debbie bit her lip and swallowed hard. She had thought about it a lot, and she understood Lou’s point… but she really knew what she wanted. They both went silent for a few minutes.

“You know, dying is part of being alive, baby, and…If you don’t want… I mean, I had Ziggy by myself and,” she looked at Lou “Don’t get me wrong, you’re her mom too, but…You know what I mean…”

“Yeah…and you know I can’t imagine my life without you two…”

Debbie nodded.

“If you don’t want it, it’s ok…” Debbie said “Don’t worry, you didn’t get me pregnant earlier…”

“Or last night…” Lou laughed. “Three times, baby”

“See…you’re not that old”

“Asshole.” Lou punched Debbie and kissed her and ran her fingers along her neck. “Maybe we can try another round before Tammy comes back with our daughter…”

“Maybe… Do you have protection, babe?”

Lou laughed and started to move down Debbie’s breast and bit her nipple making her groan. Debbie arched her back and relaxed her head in the pillow as she closed her eyes.

“Nah… But we can try…”

“What?” She opened her eyes, looking at Lou.

“I mean… If you want… we can try to have another child…”

Debbie screamed and took her by her chin and kissed her with passion. Lou laughed in her mouth.

“But you know… I can’t really impregnate you…that we have to go to the doctor…?”

“Shut up and fuck me, idiot…”


	8. You rock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou and Debbie having their proud parent moment at the first Ziggy’s recital. Of course her aunties couldn’t miss it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a while. I’m sorry. I have a huge writer block...etc. Anyway, I just want to thank my beta @hope_savaria one more time... READ HER WORK NOW! and tell you please STAY AT HOME AND BE SAFE! Today is my 6 isolation day... :( but trying to rest, read, write...so even this chapter is short I am sure there will be more Chapters soon!

Lou looked at the reserved seats in the last row of the little auditorium of Ziggy’s music school. They were empty, and she would kill the owner of those seats if they didn’t arrive soon. She looked at her daughter who was with the other kids, waiting for their moment. Ziggy looked at her, playing with her sticks with a sad face.

She looked at her phone screen again. Nothing.

“I’m going to kill them” she whispered to Debbie.

“Relax, they’ll make it. Or I’ll kill them with my own hands… I mean I didn’t go to Keri’s stupid spelling contest for anything”.

Lou smiled at Debbie. She looked again at the stairs and at her daughter. She couldn’t wait anymore.

“I’m going to go look or call Tammy”

Debbie nodded. She was listening and looking at the poor kids playing out of tune violin on the stage as their parents recorded, very proud of them.

***

When Lou left the music she crashed into her friends. They were arriving, smiling and chatting as if they weren’t late.

“What the fuck, guys? Come on. Ziggy’s playing in five minutes.”

“I told ya…we’re late.” Tammy was the only one who was nervous and walked faster. She  _ was _ a mom.

Lou and the other six entered the school and walked to the auditorium, but before they entered, Lou stopped them.

“Wait,” she looked at them seriously. “Debbie wanted to tell you some warnings…but she’s in the first row so, I’m in charge.” She cleared her throat. “She’s just starting to play, and she isn’t so good, but she tries, so be patient.” Lou looked at Constance “No pick pocketing here.”

The young woman nodded.

***

Lou sat beside Debbie in the first row. Meanwhile their friends went to the reserved seats in the last one, giggling and making a lot of noise, too loud.

“Is Leslie high?”

Lou and Debbie looked at her and sighed, but Ziggy walking to the stage let them forget about their friend and focus on the first recital of their kid. All their friends started to applause.

“Hi,” Ziggy talked almost in a whisper, only looking at her moms. “I’m Ziggy, I’m almost five years old, and all my classmates are older than me but I don’t care…” All the parents there laughed. She kept talking with her high-pitched voice. “Anyway… I’m going to play ‘We will rock you’ by Queen on the drums. Thank you”

All the audience applauded except Constance and Nineball, who cheered loudly. Debbie started to record on her iPhone as Ziggy’s teacher played the music. She started to follow the rhythm and play the drum part in the song while Lou looked at her very proud, following the rhythm too.

“She’s doing so well!”

“Yeah,” Debbie whispered without looking at her wife, and smiling at her daughter. “She practices with you… She couldn’t be that bad”

Ziggy was very focused on the song, and they almost couldn’t see her with the drum, big as her, but they knew from the smile on her face that she was enjoying herself.

“Could you imagine, when we were younger… when we first met, that someday we’d be here? Lou asked.

“What do you mean?”

They stood up when Ziggy’s song ended and she went to the middle of the stage to bow as all the parents applauded her as they did with the other kids.

“I mean… being a parent… And doing what parents do with their kids…”

Debbie started to walk to towards their friends in the last row while the other parents went to the exit. They had to wait for Ziggy.

“We’re turning into what we didn’t like…”

“We’re turning in Tammy…”

Lou laughed.

“We just need to stop the jobs and get a house in the suburbs,” she joked. “Boring…”

Debbie looked at Lou and stopped her, grabbing her wrist. She looked into her blue eyes.

“Baby…”

“Debbie, I’m sure of what I want. A life with you.” She kissed her. “With our daughter, in our loft, with our jobs…and another kiddo.”

She smiled and Debbie nodded, that’s what she really wanted. She just wanted for Ziggy the same as she had with Danny. She turned to her friends, who were still talking.

“But if you want a house in Jersey…”

“Hell no.”

Lou laughed the moment Ziggy made her appearance and grabbed her in her arms. Amita was the first to congratulate her, and Daphne was the one who said they needed to celebrate.

“Burgers!” Ziggy screamed and jumped from her mama’s arms to run around her aunties, very excited. They walked to the exit.

“Vegan Burger?” asked the actress.

“No way.” answered Constance, the voice of the group..


	9. Can you keep a secret?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Constance found some news about Debbie and try with Nine Ball’s help know all the truth... Ziggy listening something she didn’t really likes... Sorry for the bad summary it’s too late lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope, my beta, you’re the best!!
> 
> People, stay safe and stay at home. Today was my 11 day in lockdown... it’s not easy but everythinv will be ok :)

Constance made her appearance at Nine’s, Leslie’s bar, just in time. She entered, crossing the room on her skateboard and wearing a hoodie and cargo pants with enough pockets to keep all the money and watches she picked up that afternoon on the streets around the skate park. She didn’t need it, she had enough money, thanks to Debbie and Lou, and of course to her YouTube channel. But she needed to entertain herself in some way, and pick pocketing was her best way to forget what she saw. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t forget and take her mind off of what she found out. After she tried doing new content in her channel, skating, pick pocketing and everything else, she just knew she had to talk with Nine ball and look for a solution.

“Dude...the skate… you going to scratch the floor…”

“Sorry, sis.” Constance rolled her eyes and grabbed her skateboard. “I thought you were cooler,” she whispered, sitting down on at a barstool.

“What ya wanna drink?”

“Beer is fine.”

“Aren’t ya a minor?”

“Ha-ha very funny.”

Nine Ball smiled and served herself a beer and another for her friend and sat down in front of Constance. The sound of pool cues hitting balls rumbled around the bar.

“So…” She took a swig. “What can I do for ya?”

“Debbie is dying, so I need you to hack all her medical records and files and everything and see what we can do…”

“What? What ya mean she’s dying? She told you something?” Nine looked at her, very worried.

“No, she doesn’t tell me anything…”

“So?”

“She was acting weird, and since I can’t imagine her cheating on Lou… She’s dying…”

“Yeah, you’re assuming that Debbie is dying just because she’s in love with her wife and she was acting weird…Ok…I think you need me for some other serious shit…”

“Dude, this is so serious… She’s  _ dying _ …Our family will be broke, Les…”

“Constance, listen to me… If you don’t have proof… I can’t hack them, they’re my fam… If you need to know something, ask her…”

“Really? Ask her? Debbie Ocean? Yeah, sure, she’ll tell me why she was having injections…”

Nine frowned.

“What?”

“Yes, she’s medicated, because she's dying, or otherwise…she’s using drugs…”

Nine Ball sighed. She shook her head and finished her beer with a long sip.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s using heroin. The woman who didn’t want me smokin’ weed when we were working on the Met job… That woman, a mother, is using heroin.” She sighed again and grabbed Constance hand, looking in her eyes. “Connie, you need to do something with your life…something productive like my bar… Something you really like, and stop imagining crazy shit.”

***

Lou looked into her brown eyes while she was running gauze with alcohol over the dark mark on her belly. They were in the middle of their bed, wearing just underwear. Debbie shivered.

“You should ask for help before you give yourself an ugly mark…”

Debbie nodded. “Do it.”

Lou smiled and bit her bottom lip.

“Don’t be silly and be careful” 

“I am always careful, baby,” Lou said with a deep voice. She grabbed the injection and nailed it into the skin of Debbie’s stomach. “Done”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I told you, you need me to do this, darling.” She kissed Debbie’s lips. “Magic hands, remember?”

“Oh, yes, I did.” Debbie laughed and jumped towards her wife, falling on the mattress “What are you going to do now with your magic hands, huh?” She said against Lou’s lips, without breaking the kiss.

Lou moaned and moved under Debbie’s body, dropping all the pamphlets that Debbie was reading about IVF and the whole process of assisted reproductive technology that they chose to get pregnant. The doctor told them IVF was the best option for them, given the circumstances, such as Debbie’s age, and they started all the injections to get the fertilized egg implanted into Debbie’s uterus as soon as possible.

***

It was another day in the loft, another Friday night that the girls decided to get Thai food and dinner there with Lou and Debbie. Music played on the record player. Amita, Daphne and Rose were playing poker at the poker table, and Constance was playing video games with Ziggy. Tammy and Nine Ball were relaxing on the sofa. Leslie looked at Debbie and Lou who were in the kitchen, caressing each other and whispering.

She stood up, leaving Tammy on the sofa and went to the kitchen to grab another beer from the fridge. She needed to talk to them. Lou smiled at her, but she refused to look at her.

“What’s up, Nine?”

She shrugged and stood in front of them as Debbie arched her eyebrow.

“Everything okay?”

Nine Ball nodded.

“Congrats,” she whispered, “but… you have to tell them… Or you need to be more discrete… I mean, everyone who is half as smart as me could read your medical files…”

Debbie frowned.

“What?” she tried to act normal without being suspicious.

“Constance saw you with the injections and thought you were dying and asked me to hack your records and learn about your health care and everything…” Leslie said in a whisper just to them.

“Fuck.” Debbie looked at Lou, who looked to Constance. Lou walked to the living room, approaching the girl. “Hey, Con…”

Constance paused the game and looked at Lou. Lou frowned.

“Where’s Ziggy?”

“She went to drink water… to the Kitchen…”

“No she… Don’t”

“She wants to pee, too…”

“Ok…” Lou cleared her throat “We need to talk… But you have to keep your mouth closed, follow me…”

They went to the garage for a quieter conversation. Lou needed to know that,even though their family doesn’t lie, she had to keep this secret and not tell what they were up to, not yet. She knew she could trust Constance.

***

It was the third day in a row of waking up in the middle of the night to Ziggy’s call, crying because of a nightmare and refusing to talk about it. First Lou went and slept with her in her tiny bed for an adult and a toddler and waited until Ziggy was asleep again, but it didn't work. Ziggy woke up again an hour later and didn’t sleep again. Debbie was tired because of the hormone injections and yawned when Lou turned on the lights and stood up again to go to Ziggy’s bedroom just wearing a sports bra and boxers. She was really sexy, but the cries of her daughter in the other room killed the mood.

Just when she was too nervous to stay there, Lou came back to their room with Ziggy in her arms.

“Mom, she wants to sleep with you,” said Lou, smiling at Debbie and setting her daughter in the middle of the bed, between them.

Debbie hugged her and Ziggy started to cry again, both sitting on the mattress.

“Baby, what happened? Did Derek tell you about the monsters again? You know it is a lie…”

Ziggy denied it. Lou, who was sitting behind her, hugged her too and kissed her blonde hair.

“So, you wanna talk about the nightmare, Miss Stardust?”

Ziggy looked at her and nodded slowly, feeling bad. Debbie grabbed her hand.

“Mom is dying like your nana… Auntie Leslie… I was listening the other day… I know I don’t have to listen to adult conversations, Mama…” She looked at Lou. “I know, but… I was thirsty, and you were in the kitchen talking…”

Debbie frowned and looked at Lou. She knew what she was talking about... Debbie looked at Lou, and she made a sign. They wanted to wait to talk about Debbie’s pregnancy with Ziggy and their plans, at least until it became a reality and not just a medical procedure to try to get pregnant, but they knew they needed to tell her in that moment if they wanted to sleep again with regularity.

“Mom is not dying, baby…She’s taking some meds to… She… We…”

Debbie laughed.

“What Mama is trying to say is that we want another baby… A baby brother or sister for you, Zig…” she smiled.

Ziggy opened her eyes in surprise and looked at each of them.

“A baby… Yay….” Debbie and Lou said.

“Yeah…If everything goes ok, someday, you will be a big sister…”

Ziggy still was silent. Lou thought it wasn’t a good idea telling her, in that moment, since Debbie wasn't pregnant yet, and waited for the worst tantrum ever…

“Ziggy?”

“I’m going to be a big sister.” She stood up and started to jump, screaming. Debbie laughed and Lou did the same looking how her daughter got crazy, and stopped her before she got hurt.

“So mom is not going to die?”

“Nope.”

She sat again between Lou and Debbie. Debbie looked at them with love in her eyes while they were talking about the great news that was going to change their lives.

“And I’m going to be a big sister…” She said with her highest voice.

“Yeah… Mommy is going to have a baby in her belly… But now you have to sleep, sweetie, it’s late…”

“Okay.” Ziggy answered. “But… How will the baby be in mom’s belly?”

Lou looked at Debbie, terrified, and she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah Mama, how?” Debbie asked jokingly, waiting for Lou's answer. They always thought that kind of quest from Ziggy wouldn’t come that soon.

Lou frowned and bit her bottom lip.

“Sleep. Now.” She forced Ziggy to lie down and close her eyes. She Turned off the lights.

“But…”

“Sleep.”

Debbie couldn’t help it and laughed in the middle of the darkness and silence of the bedroom, and Ziggy copied her. Lou hid her face in the pillow knowing that if they had another girl as stubborn as Debbie and as curious as Ziggy…she  _ would _ go crazy.


	10. Birthday girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ziggy’s Birthday Party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more time:
> 
> @hope_savaria THAAAAAANK YOUUUU :) 
> 
> STAY SAFE AND STAY AT HOME PEOPLE!
> 
> Kuddos and comments will make my day :)

Daphne was always independent. She was a solitary child since her parents divorced when she was only five, and she felt alone the most of her life. She thought her life would be complete when she started acting and becoming famous, surrounded by people 24/7. But it wasn’t. Her life was the same and she felt as miserable as when nobody knew her. She tried to find good friends in the industry, but it was pretty hard when most of the people were fake…She went to therapy, enjoyed some boring book clubs, and did a lot travelling around the world, going to festivals, parties etc. Nothing worked… until she met them. She never thought she would find a nice group of friends… Actually a family...in that weird bunch of misfits. She never forgot how, even participating in illegal activity, she felt alive as never felt before, and she knew they would be friends forever after. She had a big crush on Lou and Debbie and found she would never have the opportunity with either of them, but then… Rose stole her heart. Almost six years after the Met Gala, she felt loved by all of them, and for the first time in her life, she knew the meaning of family. 

Daphne parked and got out of the car after checking her makeup. She looked at the place, a trampoline park... She couldn’t believe she, a famous actress, accepted to come here and spend the evening at a children’s birthday party, but she would do whatever Ziggy asked.

“Fuck!” She bit her bottom lip as she played with her chewing gum.

“What?” Rose asked, surprised, walking beside her.

“The gifts…we forgot…we…”

“I sent all of them by delivery guy this morning, darling.”

Daphne smiled and kissed her lips.

“I love you,” she said without breaking the kiss. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, babe…”

Lou smiled behind them, standing in the door, and coughed. Daphne and Rose separated and looked at Lou who was laughing.

“Shame on you… It’s a child’s birthday, guys…”

“Ha-ha, you’re so funny, Lou-Lou.”

“Stop calling me that, Daph, seriously…”

They entered the trampoline park together and went to the reserved zone for Ziggy’s party. Amita and Tammy were helping to decorate,and Nine ball and Debbie were giving indications to the guys from the park to get the snacks and juices for the kids ready.

“Where’s Ziggy?” Rose asked.

“Jumping already with the first kids that came.” Lou smiled checking the table with snacks. Daphne sat on a stool and looked around as Rose went to help the others.

“And Conz? Isn’t she here yet?” Daphne asked as she gave a nod to Tammy who was getting mad.

“She’s here… She was here before us… Like, she was the first to arrive.” Debbie walked around and got a drink as she sat. Everything was ready for the party.

“You’re kidding.” Daphne arched her eyebrow.

“Nope.” Lou sat beside Debbie. “She’s jumping with Ziggy and her friends… She’s one of them.”

***

The kids arrived with their parents and, after giving the presents to Debbie, went to jump with Ziggy and, of course, with Constance. They jumped and did a circuit of Ninja Warrior and played a lot until they were thirsty and hungry and desperate for a piece of cake.

“Cake! Cake!”

“We want cake, we want cake.” They screamed and clapped at the same time.

All of them sat around the table, eating snacks and drinking juice while the parents drank soda and beer in the adult zone, laughing and talking.

“Yeah, we want the cake Mrs. Ocean,” said Amanda, Ziggy’s best friend.

“Please,” said Maggie, Amanda’s mom, who was helping Debbie with the kids while her husband was busy trying to get a photo with Daphne.

“Please,” repeated Amanda. “Can we get birthday cake already?”

Debbie smiled and Maggie rolled her eyes. Amanda’s little sister tried to steal her sister’s juice.

“Hey, hey, Anna. Stop it. You have your own.” She sighed. “Are you two sure of having another one?”

“What?”

“Yeah, Congrats guys. I almost forgot,” Laura, another classmate’s mom, said.

“Yeah, I’m so happy for you… Miss Hart told me the other day when I picked up Ziggy… Congrats!” said Becky, another mom, and Maggie nodded even as she with her two daughters.

Lou frowned and looked at Debbie. Debbie remembered what they were talking about, when Becky had to pick up Ziggy from school because she and Lou couldn’t. Lou was in a work meeting with a supplier, and she picked Ziggy up at Becky’s home after she came back from her doctor’s appointment… But she never told anybody about her appointment.

“What do you mean?”

“About your pregnancy.”

“Your what?” Tammy interrupted the conversation.

“Did she say pregnancy?” Daphne whispered to Rose, and she nodded.

Amita looked at Nine Ball. She was looking like nothing new had happened.

“You knew, right?”

Nine ball shrugged.

“Ziggy told her class, and Miss Hart assumed you were at the doctor when I picked her up with Maddie,” said Becky.

“We’re… we’re not…we…”

Lou sighed as all the parents congratulated them on the new kid while Tammy tried to talk with Debbie. Debbie tried to explain the mistake as the kids became anxious. They still were waiting for the cake. Lou ran out. She needed fresh air.

***

Lou was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall in the alley. She was smoking, trying to calm down and forget what just happened when Daphne appeared in front of her.

“Are you smoking? I thought you already quit. Debbie’s going to kill you if she…”

Lou looked up, surprised. “Shhh. She will find out if you don’t keep your voice down.” She smoked and passed the packet.

Daphne took a cigarette, and Lou lit it up. The actress sat down beside Lou, without caring if her expensive jeans got messed up. They smoked in silence until Daphne couldn’t help it. She just needed to know.

“So… is she really pregnant?”

“Not yet.”

“Ahem…Congrats?”She smiled.

Lou looked at her and threw the butt, putting it out by stepping on it with the heel of her boot.

“You… Don’t want it…”

“What? No. I really want another kid… Now I’m just scared… I’m… I love Ziggy but… this, another kid… Is really crazy and if something happens to Debs…”

“She will be okay. Debbie is tough.”

“I don’t know, Daph…She really wants another kid…She wants for Ziggy what she had with Danny… What I had with Tammy…with you, with the girls…but if we can’t make it…She will be really sad and I…”

“Don’t think about that now…”

“Yeah, but if it finally really works…” Lou laughed. “Did you see what happened inside? All those kids…the two crazy siblings… “

Daphne laughed too. “I don’t think you couldn’t handle it. For god’s sake, you handle it with Nine Ball, with Constance…with me.” Daphne smiled and put her hand on Lou’s knee and swallowed. “And I’m really grateful…for all of you.”

Lou put her hand over Daphne’s and looked at her. She knew that even though sometimes she tried to hide it, they were a real family for the actress.

“You don’t have anything to thank… without your help six years ago…”

“You guys would be in jail… and I would be lonely the rest of my life.”

They fell silent, and Daphne refused to look at her, looked at her nails instead.

“You two are doing really good with that kid… She’s having the best birthday party with her friends… She knows how all of us love her. She’s loved, and you two take care of her and play with her,” she whispered. “You don’t have to be scared, Lou, you’re a good mama.” She smiled and looked at her with her eyes wet. “Ziggy has the best moms…”

Lou smiled with her eyes wet too and nodded.

“And the best aunties too.”

“Yeah…” She stood and gave her hand to help Lou to stand too. “And wait until you see my gift. The best auntie ever.” She grinned. “Let’s go to see your daughter blow out the candles.”

They walked inside the bouncing park, just to see Debbie preparing the birthday cake with the five candles ready to be blown out by Ziggy. All her friends were singing Happy Birthday.

“What do you mean about the best gift? Lou asked.

Daphne whispered in Lou’s ear.

“A PONY!? WHAT THE F-FUDGE,” Lou said, looking at the kids just as they finished singing. 


	11. The doctor’s appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title said: The doctor’s appointment...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta @hope_savaria is the best. Go read her work and let her kuddos and comments! 
> 
> Happy belated easter! Stay safe people!

The best way to wake up: oral sex. Debbie and Lou knew it, and they had each consented to each other to wake up this way once in a while. As Debbie always had been a light sleeper even before jail or Ziggy, and Lou being a night owl since forever, she was almost always the one who awoke with Debbie’s tongue on her clit, but that morning, it was Debbie who opened her eyes and moaned with Lou between her legs.

“Mmmm, baby….” She moved her hand and grabbed Lou’s head under the blanket. She didn’t know when Lou started to lick, bite, and suck her, but she knew she was close. “Lou…mmm. I’m close…”

Lou licked hard the way she knew Debbie liked and felt when her wife was  _ really _ close. She stopped and came out of the blankets, looking at Debbie. She was just testing her.

“Don’t stop.” Debbie opened her eyes and looked into Lou’s eyes, who was smiling, knowing exactly what she needed to do to get Debbie to cum and scream her name. “Come on, Lou. Don’t be cocky…”

Lou laughed and went under the sheets again, playing with two fingers in Debbie’s entrance as she licked her clit again.

“Oh… oh…god… You really know how to wake me up…”

***

“Good Morning, babe…” Debbie whispered when she finally breathed again and kissed Lou’s head, which was lying on her shoulder. “And thank you…” Lou moved and Debbie’s lips slowly descended Lou’s neck “I love the way you wake me up… but… Normally it’s me who wakes you up that way…You aren’t an early bird.”

“Yeah… Couldn’t sleep…” She moved again and looked at her “Today’s the day, are you nervous?”

“Not at all…Everything will be ok, baby”

Lou nodded… But she really was a bit nervous. She couldn’t understand how Debbie was so relaxed. She got up, grabbed a hoodie and dressed, looking at Debbie who was still lying naked in bed.

“We should wake up Zig…It’s late…”

“Yeah,” Debbie said, arching her back. “We should take her with us to the first appointment after we get pregnant…”

“Yeah.” Lou smiled. “She will be so happy to see her sister”

“Sister? Ah… you want another girl?”

Lou shrugged and finally finished dressing and left the room to wake Ziggy and make them breakfast. Debbie just put herself in a shirt and shorts and stayed looking at the ceiling, thinking how their life would change after that day.

***

After they dropped Ziggy at school – which was very strange as normally they didn’t - they went to the doctor’s appointment to retrieve the matured eggs from Debbie.

Lou held Debbie’s hand through the whole process, whispering ‘everything will be fine’ and running her fingers through Debbie’s hair, who was a little sedated for the process to be pain free.

Debbie smiled, and Lou kissed her lips.

“The meds are taking their effect,” said the doctor. “I’m going to use a transvaginal ultrasound to guide a needle through the back wall of your vagina, Debbie.”

Debbie nodded. 

“It’s an easy process, Lou. Don’t be worried.” The doctor was very kind to them, very humble, and they felt better.

“I’m ok. I’m really ok. Are you ok?” Lou asked Debbie.

Debbie laughed at her wife. She wasn’t feeling anything.

“This needle will aspirate the follicle, or gently suck the fluid and oocyte from the follicle into the needle. There is one oocyte per follicle. These oocytes will be transferred to the embryology lab for fertilization.” The doctor said as she was working.

“How many are we going to retrieve?”

She smiled as she retired the needle.

“You did your homework, mama.”

“Yeah…” Lou smiled, very smug. “I read that normally it’s between eight and fifteen…”

“Yeah, you’re right…We’re taking nine…” The doctor took off her gloves and looked at Debbie and Lou with a smile on her face. “We’re done here.”

“Really?” Debbie was surprised; she expected more pain.

“Yeah… Now we keep you here a few hours to make sure everything is okay… and if everything is fine, I’ll see you in five days to transfer the embryo.”

“Thank you, Doc” Lou smiled.

***

That night, Debbie was curled in the couch, very tired and feeling abdominal cramping as Lou tried to relax her, massaging her legs. Luckily, they decided to let Ziggy sleepover with Daphne and Rose at their duplex in the Upper East Side since they offered to take care of their niece.

“Arrg….I wanna die…”

“Sweetie, abdominal cramping is normal… Even light spotting is normal…Just like premenstrual symptoms…. I read about it”

Debbie’s look froze Lou, and she shut her mouth. It was better if she didn’t say anything about it, but she was always afraid of Debbie’s period mood, not to mention Pregnant Debbie. She swallowed and decided the best for her integrity was to change the subject.

“So…You think we made a good decision with our sperm donor?”

“I think it’s too late to change our choice…”

Lou rolled her eyes and sighed. She stood and went to the kitchen to grab some chocolate bars and juice; maybe the food would help Debbie.

“God Lord, Debbie.” She said with her Australian accent. “I just want you to think of something other than your pain…” She returned with a lot of choices of food and sat on the sofa but Debbie didn’t want to eat anything.

Debbie nodded and moved beside Lou, leaning her head on her lap. Lou stroked Debbie’s hair.

“Yeah…well…At least with this pregnancy, we could choose the donor…” Debbie was a mix of pain, hormones and over thinking. She looked into Lou’s eyes. She knew even her wife didn’t say anything in regard to her first pregnancy, she thought the same. 

Lou cleared her throat.

“You did it pretty good… I mean… Ziggy is blonde as me… We have a lot of chances to get another blonde… but maybe with your eyes…she or he will be so cute…”

Debbie smiled, loving how Lou’s eyes shine as she talked about her future baby. She forgot all the pain when she dreamed of her wife with her two kids.

“What do you think about Rhiannon?” Debbie asked, grabbing a chocolate bar.

“The song?”

“As a name for our baby, boy or girl… we could shorten it to Ri or Riri”

Lou went quiet, thinking about it. It was a really good name. It could be for a boy or girl just like Ziggy.

“I love it.” Lou laughed. “Tammy’s going to freak out about it just like when we told her about Ziggy’s name.”

“I know.” Debbie laughed too and kissed Lou’s lips, which tasted like chocolate. At least the conversation made her feel better and forget the pain.

Debbie curled up again and closed her eyes as Lou caressed her. She was sure everything would be ok.


	12. The F word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ziggy has a tantrum and Debbie and Lou deal with it. They are waiting to know their life changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to my amiga and my beta @hope_savaria ...I bet you don’t have nothing to do in that crazy time so go to read her work.
> 
> Stay safe people and thank you so much for reading and kudos.... can I have some comments?

Five days after the retrieval, they went to the clinic and decided to transfer just one of the embryos to reduce the chances of a multiple pregnancy and the risks for complications. They froze the other five high-quality embryos. 

Two weeks later, it was a random normal Wednesday in the Ocean-Millers’s, life trying to do their routines chores, after two weeks waiting to do the pregnancy test, trying to know everything about the process and calling her doctor almost every day to know if they can have sex, or about the cramps, and about Debbie using a progesterone supplement vaginal gel, which Lou took advantage of helping her with. With a new heist in mind and a five year old toddler around, it was really crazy and not normal at all… 

“We should get Nutella,” said Debbie in the chocolate aisle at the grocery store.

“Is that any kind of craving, Baby?” Lou pushed the trolley and looked at Ziggy who was walking in front of her.

“Too early to know.” Debbie grabbed the jar of Nutella and looked at Lou. “We can take the test tonight…?”

Lou nodded and bit her bottom lip. “How are you feeling about it? Is it the same thoughts you had when you found out about Ziggy?”

Debbie thought back almost six years ago when she was lonely and Lou was finally getting her road trip on the coastline of California after the Met heist. She remembered how she had to take three pregnancy tests to be really sure she was pregnant. She remembered how she cried in the middle of their bathroom for hours. 

“I hope not.” She swallowed and walked away, looking at the shelves.

Lou felt she had made a mistake, remembering that time of their lives when they weren’t together. She felt awful.

“Baby, I’m sorry… I don’t want to…”

“It’s ok, Lou.” Debbie smiled and left donuts in the trolley. She sighed. “I think my boobs are very sensitive, and I’m tired, so maybe… we’re pregnant. Let’s go get that test…” She kissed Lou and when they separated to continue their shopping they saw Ziggy coming back with a bunch of chocolate bars in her hands.

“Hey, hey.” Lou grabbed her daughter by the hoodie before she left all the candy and chocolate stuff in the trolley. “Where do you think you’re going with all that chocolate?”

“I want chocolate.”

“First, you know you need to ask first….” Lou said. She never would have thought she would be that kind of parent years before she could cook by herself. But Debbie being in jail changed everything, and she learned to cook and now she is the one who takes care of the food. “Second… It’s too much chocolate. Just one bar.”

Debbie stood beside Lou. She supported the idea… She didn’t want Ziggy to eat like Constance in the future, just with juices and sandwiches.

“Two.”

“One and you’re going to eat your vegetables. You know the rules, Ziggy.”

“I want more, Mama!” She frowned and crossed her arms.

“Ziggy…” Lou was losing her patience. “One or nothing”

Ziggy opened her mouth ready to scream but she knew it would be worse. She looked at Debbie first and then Lou. She turned around, pacing and carrying the chocolate bars back to their shelves. 

“Fuck,” Ziggy said, with all the letters and murmuring clearly enough to be heard by Debbie and Lou.

They looked at each other, surprised.

“Did she just say…?” Lou murmured. No. Her daughter never says the “F word”. NEVER. 

“No, she doesn’t… She can’t… She’s just five…” Debbie looked at Ziggy. She was clearly mad. “Did you…?”

“No, I never say…”  _ F U C K _ –Lou just mouthed the word- “in front of her!” she rasped “Did you?”

“Never.” Debbie started to walk away from the chocolate, and Ziggy still was walking upset in front of them. Debbie was really worried… It wasn’t the first tantrum in those two crazy weeks and maybe since they were very busy in the IVF, that was Ziggy’s way to catch their attention. “It is just one time thing, I’m sure…”

“Yeah….”

But it wasn’t…

***

Lou walked downstairs and went to the living room barefoot. She was wearing skinny gray jeans and a black shirt with a purple vest and she was finishing putting her rings in the fingers.

“So, you don’t mind?” She started to look for her Doc Martens boots.

“No, baby… I’m ok.” Debbie was reading a book, lying on the sofa as Ziggy, after dinner, sat on the floor trying to draw. 

“I’ll come back soon… Like in two hours…” Lou looked behind the sofa. She got a call from April, one of her bartenders, and needed to go to the club. “Where are my boots?” 

Debbie left her book on the table and looked around the living room. Sometimes Lou had the bad habit of leaving her boots everywhere. 

“Found them.” Debbie pointed out to Ziggy who was wearing her mama’s boots. She was like a clown with big shoes. “Baby, give the boots to Mama. She needs to go.”

Ziggy looked at them. 

“I’m wearing them now…”

“Yeah, I know, but they’re too big for you, they don’t fit you. We will get you your own pair of boots some day… but now…” Lou approached Ziggy. “They’re mine…”

“Mom told me nothing has an owner.” Ziggy was trying to talk with Debbie’s voice. “…Now I’m using them… So, now they are mine.”

Lou looked at Debbie. She was sure that, when Debbie had told something like that to her daughter, she was talking about a heist. They needed to take care of what they said in front of her.

“Really…” She sighed. “Come on…Ziggy. Give me my boots. Now”

Ziggy just frowned like she did in the grocery store. Her face turned red and she took off the boots, dropping them on the floor.

“Fuck,” she said clearly. “I can’t have anything in this house… No chocolate… No boots,” she murmured.

“Hey, hey young lady!” Debbie stood up and walked over to Lou and Ziggy. “I don’t like your behavior… And where did you learn that ugly word?” She knew she should not say anything about the F word, if they didn’t give it importance she would forget about the word and not say it anymore, but… Debbie was really irritated.

“Daphne always says it. She says it every time to her assistant.”

“Daph…?” Debbie put her hands on her hips and sighed, trying to control herself. Daphne really was reckless, but her anger was increasing. Lou grabbed Debbie’s arm trying to calm her down and Ziggy started to cry, whining to them. Ziggy was only five but she had a hard personality thanks to Debbie’s genes, and it didn’t help that she spent so much time with adults.

Lou started to put her boots on when Debbie sent Ziggy to her room to think about what happened today. It was a strategy that they learned from other preschool parents… Normally when Ziggy was sent to her room, she thought about what happened, understood why her moms were upset, and finally relaxed herself and apologized.

“I should call April and stay…” Lou said, holding her by her waist. 

“No. She… We will be ok… Go to the club.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah… You know her tantrums… We just need to talk with her about what happened… when she’s ready. It is not normal, but it’s not something we can’t deal with.”

Lou nodded, kissed her lips, and said goodbye.

***

Debbie looked at her wrist watch. Danny’s watch. It was past midnight and Lou hadn’t come home yet. She put Ziggy to sleep after she went to her room and talked with her. They agreed to talk with Lou the next morning about what happened, and after Ziggy apologized to Debbie, she fell asleep. 

Debbie went to her room and changed her clothes into something more comfortable like her pajamas, ready to go and wait for Lou in bed. She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and looked in the cabinet. The three pregnancy tests.

She couldn’t wait more. She grabbed all of them and went to the toilet to pee on them. She just had to wait five more minutes to know the result when she heard the front door.

“Debs?” Lou called upstairs.

“Over here… In the bathroom…I did the test…” she said, raising her voice.

Lou entered the bathroom and looked at her wife. She was looking at the three pregnancy tests that they had bought that afternoon. She swallowed, terrified.

“So…?”

Debbie looked at her.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	13. The sun before dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still reading that story and for all those new kuddos. I hope you like next chapter and one more time go read the work of my beta and friend @hope_savaria. The last chapter of her toy sex work was crazy!! 
> 
> Stay safe folks!

“Are you ok?” Lou frowned at Debbie when she sat down at the poker table, pale. Debbie looked at her and shrugged. “Sorry, Sorry, I know.” After the negative, Debbie spent two days crying and upset, so they agreed to wait until she recovered to try to get pregnant again. They were really excited but they chose to not talk about the possible pregnancy symptoms until they had the new results and to get them, they would have to wait a few more days.

Lou sighed and went to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast before waking up Ziggy. This second time trying to get pregnant after the first negative Debbie was really nervous, and Lou knew she needed to distract her… And she knew the best way. It was almost summer and it was really hot even in the early hours of the morning.

“Baby…” She gave her the decaf cup of coffee. “I was thinking… What do you think if we go to the beach today?”

Debbie sipped as Lou sat in front of her.

“It’s Thursday… Ziggy has school…”

“Yeah… But she’s in pre K… Come on, Baby, I thought you were the cooler mom.”

Debbie laughed, knowing why Lou was telling that, trying to con her.

“I don’t know…”

“I mean it, Debs; we need to spend the day together… Just the three of us, I know we agreed to not talk about… that.” she looked at Debbie's belly and signed with her head “But, maybe our lives, Ziggy’s life, are going to change and she deserves to have that day, as a family…”

“Oh my god…. Really? Are you using our daughter to go to the beach?”

“Yeah… I really want to see you in a bikini, darling.” She moved her eyebrows, joking.

“Pervert…”

“So…?”

“Ok, fine, we’re going to the beach…”

***

After a long journey (thanks to the traffic) from the loft to Coney Island instead of Plumb beach and Lou parked her car near the Thunderbolt Roller Coaster. Bad idea. Ziggy forgot her excitement for the beach and just wanted to go to Luna Park. Luckily for them, it was Thursday, so there weren't so many people… Just tourists walking the boardwalk and having lunch at Nathan’s. Debbie smiled when Lou looked at her and rested her head on her shoulder. She stroked her hair as Ziggy was screaming in her seat, demanding to get out of the car.

“Are you thinking this is a bad idea…?”

Lou smiled. “Not at all.” She bit her lip. “Let’s go Miss Stardust, don’t forget your  _ thongs. _ ”

Debbie rolled her eyes. “Your flip-flops babe” she said to Ziggy, who was used to being barefoot in the car. “After all the years in the States and you still saying words in that…crazy language that you think is English…”

Lou laughed and got out of the car, grabbing their stuff and Ziggy’s toys from the back. They walked until the beach was more empty than the boardwalk and Luna Park. The first ten minutes was spent trying to find the best spot, and when they finally did it and they put their towels in the sand, they spent the next ten minutes preparing.

Lou couldn’t resist watching her wife while she was taking off her shirt and shorts. Under her clothes she was wearing a tiny, black and white bikini. Lou swallowed and looked away trying to control herself.

“Hey, Ziggs, come here…” Lou grabbed her daughter, who was already playing with the sand and just wearing her Frozen swimsuit. She picked up Ziggy’s clothes from the sand and sat her down on her towel. “Sunscreen.”

“I don’t like sunscreen.”

“Mom is using it too…,” she said, looking at Debbie and blaming her. Debbie loved to test her. “And I’m going to use it, too… We don’t want to get sunburned.”

“Yeah, but that is because you’re an Aussie, Mama,” Ziggy said laughing.

“Yeah, ok.”

Ziggy tried to escape from her mama’s arms, but she couldn’t. Lou finished putting sunscreen on her and left Ziggy to go and make sandcastles.

“Do you need help, baby?”

“Please.” She smiled and threw the sunscreen to her. Lou approached Debbie wearing a sport top and her surf shorts and started to put sunscreen on Debbie’s back. She moved, still on her knees, beside her wife. She cleared her throat, feeling the sun burning her skin… or was it Debbie’s body that was burning her? “Oh, you’re the best.” Lou smiled and when she finished, grabbed Debbie’s ass, making her moan.

Lou lay down with her head on Debbie’s legs and looked at the blue, clean sky. Debbie sat, running her fingers through Lou’s hair and keeping an eye on Ziggy. They spent an hour without doing anything else, and when Ziggy started to get bored, they went to play with her.

“Oh, that’s a good castle, my little architect,” Lou said, smiling and kissing her head, as Debbie watched them and tried to make towers for Ziggy’s castle. “Oh, look at mom; she’s doing well too, right Ziggy?”

“Well…” Ziggy looked at Debbie’s tower. “She needs to try harder, Mama…”

“Oh my god.” Debbie laughed “You’re so mean…Just like your Mama…”

Lou laughed and shook her head.

“Now I’m tired of castles, can we go swimming?”

Lou looked at Debbie. She knew the answer. Debbie wasn’t a swimming person. She didn’t like the sea and Lou loved the sea as a good Aussie, but she knew it was too early to swim, even with the good weather; the water would be really cold.

“Or… instead of swimming, we can go to eat something at Ruby’s and then we can go to Luna Park?”

Ziggy looked at them. “Or…we can go just to the edge and wet our feet first? Please?”

Debbie nodded and smiled. 

“I’m going to pick up everything meanwhile, ok?”

“Yeah.” Lou kissed Debbie’s lips and grabbed her ass, biting her bottom lip. “I love you, baby.”

“I know” Debbie laughed in her mouth and separated when Ziggy made a noise and went to the edge of the beach, running. Lou rolled her eyes and followed her daughter.

They were at the edge, playing with the waves, getting their legs wet. Lou was enjoying the moment with her daughter who was laughing and running following the waves.

“Someday I’ll teach you to surf…”

“Yesss!!! You know, this is the best day of my life…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but we should go… Mom is waiting for us.”

Lou turned and looked at Debbie who was waiting at the end of the beach.

“Ok, let’s go, come on…” Lou started to run. “The last one is a frog.”

“Mama, you’re cheating!!” Ziggy screamed with her high-pitched voice and tried to catch Lou who was running in front of her, laughing.

***

After getting a copious lunch at Ruby’s and walking around the boardwalk, they went to Luna Park. Ziggy enjoyed some rides with Lou, while Debbie waited for them and ate cotton candy. When Lou and Ziggy came back from the Wonder Wheel, Debbie gave Ziggy the cotton candy, and grabbed Lou’s hand.

“Your phone rang when you were on the Wheel…”

“And?”

“It was April… Problems again with the vodka, baby…”

Lou sighed and rolled her eyes. She was tired of the club problems. She loved the club of course, but she didn't want to go everyday and discuss the Vodka and other stuff. She was tired, she just wanted to come back to the car, arrive home, put Ziggy to sleep, take a shower and make love to her wife.

“I should go…”

“Yeah…”

Ziggy stopped.

“I don’t want to walk anymore…” Ziggy yawned and reached up her arms looking to Lou.

Lou smiled and grabbed her daughter as Debbie carried their bags. Ziggy rested her head on Lou’s shoulder. They were walking through the boardwalk coming back to the car, enjoying the sunset.

It was darker when Lou parked in front of the loft. She looked behind and smiled at Ziggy who was sleeping. They entered the loft, Debbie carrying Ziggy. She changed her clothes for something more comfy and let her sleep in her own bed without waking her up for dinner or to get a shower. She decided not to think about that. She was too tired and Ziggy was sleeping deeply. When Debbie left Ziggy’s room and went downstairs Lou was there, after a shower, wearing her jeans and her bike’s jacket, despite the warm weather.

Debbie yawned.

“Go take a bath and sleep; it was a long day…”

“Yeah. Wake me up when you come home… ok?” Debbie kissed Lou’s lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby…” Lou smiled and grabbed her helmet.

***

There were just a few things that always really worried her in life: not having enough money to spend for the month and pay her bills (that wasn’t one of them since the Met job); finding a good restaurant in Brooklyn, Ziggy getting ill, climate change, Christmas gifts, homophobic situations, and a call in the middle of the night.

That was the most worrying thing, and that just happened.

Debbie didn’t know what time it was. She was really asleep. She moved her hand on the bed and noted Lou’s side was empty. She sighed but then realized her phone was ringing, she woke up confused and answered the phone.

“Yes. This is she…” 


	14. The dark side of the moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou is at the hospital and Debbie is dealing with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS ALWAYS THANK YOU TO MY FRIEND AND BETA @hope_savaria :) go to read her work! 
> 
> Please 2 kudos until 100! Thaaaaank you so much guys! 
> 
> And: keep washing your hands and stay safe at home :)

Debbie dropped her phone on the mattress and gasped for air. She started to make mental notes about what she had to do, but she really couldn’t think. She was shocked. She looked at her hand and noted it was trembling and a noise was ringing in her ear as her eyes stung. This couldn’t be happening to them… To her. Not again. She thought she would never feel this way, like when she was in jail and the officers told her Danny was dead. It wasn’t the same, but almost.

Debbie closed her eyes and breathed. She started to dress herself clumsily, looking for a sports jacket to put on over Lou’s shirt that she was wearing to sleep. It was a big, worn AC/DC shirt and smelled like her. She breathed again trying to control her feelings, dressing in her jeans and sneakers and barely pulling her hair into a bun. She didn’t have time for makeup. She left the room after grabbing her phone and went to Ziggy’s room.

Ziggy was deeply asleep just as she left her hours before, when they arrived home after the beach day. She sighed and went downstairs. She couldn’t wake her up and deal with her five year old daughter at the moment. She didn’t really know what happened. She unlocked her phone looking for help.

“Come on… Come on… Pick up,” she whispered, waiting.

“Hello?” Tammy answered at the other side of the line with a raspy voice. Debbie realized at that moment that she was calling her friend in the middle of the night.

“Shit, Tams, I’m sorry, I don’t….Shit I don’t want to wake up your kids… Sorry, I didn’t think about it…” Debbie’s voice sounded broken.

“Debbie?” Tammy noticed something was wrong. “What happened? Are you ok?”

“No...” She tried not to cry. “It’s…Lou…”

“What happened?” Tammy said, worried.

“They called me from the hospital…She had an accident.”

Tammy gasped. “I’m coming to the loft. I’ll be there in twenty minutes, ok?”

“But…”

“Don’t worry, baby.” She started to dress herself. Debbie could hear all the movements over there, even though Tammy was talking with someone else. “Derek and Keri are with James and I’m at Leslie’s house tonight. She’s coming too, ok? You can’t drive yourself to the hospital, I will; so Leslie will stay with Ziggy at home and I’ll be with you, ok?”

“Ok.” Debbie accepted and cut the call.

She looked up at the ceiling trying not to think ion the worst and started to pace around the loft. The time was really slow until Tammy and Nine Ball arrived at the loft. She went out quickly, almost before they parked.

“What happened, Debbie?” Tammy asked when she got out of the car. Nine ball got out too and approached them.

“I really don’t know…. I don’t know, Tammy… She… She went to the club on her bike…”

Tammy sighed and looked at her friend who was walking to her own car.

“Give me the keys, I’ll drive.”

Debbie nodded and looked at Nine Ball.

“Ziggy is still sleeping… If she wakes up, and I’m not here….”

“Don’t ya worry, Mom, I got all under control. Keep in touch, ok?” She signed her phone and Debbie nodded again.

“Thanks, you guys…”

“We’re family,” Leslie said and entered the loft, really worried but trying to be calm. Tammy grabbed Debbie’s hand for a second, inside the car, and started to drive to the hospital.

***

Debbie didn’t know what time it was. When they arrived at the hospital it was still dark and she didn’t move from the waiting room where they sent them after asking for Lou’s state. She was still in surgery. It probably would already be morning, but she didn’t care, Debbie just wanted to know about Lou. She just wanted to see her. 

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing, darling.”

Debbie stopped and looked at the door and saw Rose. Debbie looked at Tammy and she told her to call them, of course. Rose walked through the room and hugged Debbie, as Daphne and Amita waited for their turn.

“I called them… And I called Les, Ziggy’s still sleeping.”

Debbie nodded.

“Constance?” She frowned.

“She…She couldn’t make it….” Tammy bit her lip.

“I called her too,” Amita said. “She was really shocked. She turned off her phone…”

Debbie swallowed. Constance really loved Lou; she could understand what was going on in her mind. They barely talked to each other and Debbie started to walk again. They were waiting for news, but even with all the movement, the news about Lou didn’t arrive.

“It’s been a while… We should ask for her?” Daphne said and looked at Tammy. Debbie finally sat down and hid her face in her hands. The hours went by really slowly.

“Guys, I’m going to get a coffee.” Amita went to the door. “Do you want something? Daph? Rose?”

Rose shook her head and grabbed Daphne’s hand.

“Ok. Debbie?”

“Nothing.”

“You should have something…” Tammy interfered.

Debbie smiled with effort. She felt really bad. She got sick just thinking about eating something. Her mind couldn’t help but think of the worst scenarios. She couldn’t eat or drink anything at the moment but she knew she had to do it. If Lou were there with her, she would be obligated to eat or drink something after hours awake… Lou would get mad if she denied at least a coffee.

“Decaf.”

Amita nodded and went out, and after that, Daphne and Rose went out to the restroom and left Debbie waiting, grabbing Tammy's hand. Minutes later, the silence of the waiting room was interrupted by the door opening. Debbie’s heart stopped when the doctor approached her, taking off his hat and his gloves.

“Louise Miller’s family?”

“I’m her wife,” Debbie said “How is she? Is she ok?”

Tammy rubbed Debbie’s back beside her, waiting for the answers.

“She’s…stabilized.” The doctor looked directly at Debbie’s eyes, trying to be concise but kind. “Her condition was critical. Apparently, a SUV ran a red light and hit her, causing a splenic rupture, which caused internal bleeding… She needed an emergency surgery and luckily, she didn’t need a splenectomy.”

Debbie couldn’t resist anymore and started to cry. Tammy grabbed her by her waist, trying to control her.

“How is she, now?” she asked, since Debbie couldn’t talk.

“She’s out of the surgery and sedated. She’s doing well, Mrs. Miller.” Debbie smiled, crying when the doctor called her by Lou’s last name and she didn’t correct him. “We think she will wake up in a few hours.” The doctor looked at Tammy. “Also, there will be a lot of pain. She got a few contusions, and thanks to the leather motorbike jacket she was wearing, she just got some scrapes and cuts on her hand and an ugly road rash on her hip, but she will need another surgery in a few days to repair her broken leg.”

“Can I see her?”

“Yeah, just a moment and just you,he said, looking at Debbie. “She’s in the ICU; she’s breathing on her own, but she’s still sedated, so we want to monitor for at least for a day.”

Debbie nodded.

“But she… she will wake up…right? She will be ok…?”

“Yeah, we did our best. She will wake up soon, Mrs. Miller, but the recovery could be long, as I said she will need another surgery for her leg.” The doctor smiled and shook Debbie’s hand. Debbie nodded and looked at the door when the doctor went out and looked at Tammy still crying. She hugged her.

“See?… She’s ok” Tammy whispered. “You heard the doctor, she will be ok.” She separated herself and looked at her friend, cleaning up her tears. She hugged Debbie again and kissed her forehead. “Go. Go to see your wife…I’m going to call the girls to tell them the news and I will call to Les too.”

She almost ran to the ICU, feeling relieved and grateful. Lou was ok. She was alive, she was ok. The surgery was ok and she was doing well. But all the relief and the hopes left her when she entered the ICU and saw Lou in the bed, intubated, with her eyes closed, her messy hair, very pale and swollen face, her arms with bruises and her hands with road rash and cuts. She cleaned her hands with sanitizer. It was very hard to see her that way and she could barely breathe when she started to cry, ignoring the pain in her own body, the abdominal cramps.

_ 3 days before the accident. _

_ She smiled in front of the mirror of her bathroom and looked again at the door. It was still locked. She was waiting for the answer of her doctor on the other side of the line while Lou was downstairs playing with Ziggy. Debbie bit her lip. _

_ “Are you sure, then?” _

_ “Completely. I got the results in front of me, Debbie. It’s still too soon, but yeah, you’re almost six weeks pregnant.” _

_ “Ok, I will take it easy… I’ll wait a few days to tell Lou… I don’t want to get excited again for nothing.” _

_ “Ok, You can call me whenever you need to know anything, ok?” _

_ “Ok, Thank you, doctor”. _

Debbie sighed. She walked to Lou and grabbed her hand carefully and frowned, feeling another cramp and a little wetness on her thighs… It was nothing. She wanted to think it was nothing, but really, she knew what it was… She just couldn't handle it at that moment. She had to be there with Lou, to Lou, and nothing else mattered. She smiled and caressed her arm with love.

“Baby… It’s me.” She smiled with effort,crying. “Jesus, Lou, you scared the shit out of me, what were you fucking thinking? I fucking hate your bike.” She swallowed. “You can’t die, you heard me, Louise Catherine Miller, and you can’t.” Debbie cleaned her tears and ran Lou’s hair through her fingers. “You’re not allowed to go, to leave me alone with your kids.” She sighed and squeezed her arm carefully.

A nurse entered the ICU to warn Debbie. She kissed Lou’s forehead trying not to cry more and left the ICU. She stopped in the middle of the hall, feeling sick. She sat in a chair, ignoring again the warnings of her body and closed her eyes. She wouldn’t move further, ignoring her pain and her tiredness. She would be there when Lou woke up.


	15. Breaking down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou’s waking up after the accident. Debbie is dealing with her own health problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> This chapter was really hard to write so all the kudos and comments will be really really really appreciate!
> 
> Thank you so so so much to my beta amigui @hope_savaria (go read her work) and my bestie in life Nata :)
> 
> Stay safe people!

She felt so light, like her body was floating. No more tension or problems. She felt like she was in a comfortable cloud. She took a deep breath and smelled antiseptic… She wasn’t floating in the sky as she was dreaming. Debbie opened her eyes and frowned, annoyed by the white light. She moved, nervous, feeling the reality. Her body weighed like a rock again and the pain was back, but she moved quickly, trying to stand up, feeling very confused. There was an IV in her arm. She tried to take off.

“Debbie...Debbie. Easy…” The sweet and warm voice of Tammy calmed her down. Tammy looked at her and grabbed her hand. “Sweetheart.” Tammy swallowed. “You’re in the E.R…”

“Lou…” Debbie tried to move again, but she stopped when she felt dizzy.

“Hey, hey careful. You need to rest…” She grabbed her arm.”Lou is ok, she didn’t awake yet …and you’re in the E.R. because...”

Debbie looked around trying to find some doctor. She needed to go back to Lou…and she barely remembered what happened. She recalled talking with Tammy in the waiting room, feeling an awful pain in her lower abdomen and her pants getting wet. The next thing she remembered was waking up here.

“Shit, Debbie, you scared me…” Tammy sighed and looked at her friend, knowing she had to tell her what happened. “Do you remember anything?” 

Debbie nodded. “We were talking…”

“And you fainted.” Tammy bit her lip and looked at Debbie’s hand that moved to her belly.”I’m sorry, honey. I’m really sorry.” Tammy gasped. “The doctor said you fainted over all the stress… When your body and your mind finally relaxed knowing Lou is out of risk. They couldn’t do anything else, sweetie…”

Debbie stayed quiet for minutes, with her eyes on her belly and after a moment, she looked at Tammy seriously, without tears, without any expression in her face. “I need to go to Lou…”

“Yeah, well, you should stay here at least a few hours. You had a miscarriage Debbie. It’s serious.” Tammy said with her eyes clearly wet in contrast with Debbie’s face.

“I’m ok, Tam.”

“Deb…” She tried to stop her, but Debbie moved faster, taking off the IV in her arm.

“Call the doctors, please…”

Tammy looked at her. “I…”

“I’m ok, Tam. Really.” She smiled like nothing had happened. “Also, I’m in a hospital… I’ll just be in Lou’s room. Did they move her to a room already?” she said, looking at Danny’s watch on her wrist. Tammy nodded. Debbie finished dressing herself and looked at Tammy. Debbie walked to the exit of the exam room.

“Did she know?”

Debbie turned around and looked at Tammy. She frowned, trying to understand what she meant.

“Did Lou know about the pregnancy, Debbie?”

“No,” she said, “and she never will.”

***

When she went up to Lou’s room after she figured out what floor her wife was on, she almost ran, but she couldn’t. The doctor left Lou’s room crashing into Debbie and warning her she was already waking up. She took a deep breath before opening the door and placed her hand on her belly just one last time, feeling a mix of guilt and sadness.

“Lou…,” she whispered, opening the door. 

Lou wasn't being monitored anymore but she didn't seem good. Debbie looked down and walked to the edge of Lou's bed. She could barely look at her in this state… with her face bloated, cuts and scrapes on her hands, and unable to move because of the IV and the broken leg. Lou opened her eyes when Debbie touched her arm softly and carefully.

“Hey…” She was conscious and her voice sounded raspy. “Baby…”

“Lou…” 

Lou tried to move but the pain was really intense, making her groan. She tried to hide her pain but it was evidenced in her face. She closed her eyes again until she found a comfortable posture. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at Debbie and cleared her throat.

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck” She tried to laughed but Debbie’s look was enough to not do it. “Do you know if my bike is in one piece?” She smiled and attempted to grab Debbie’s hand but her fingers were really numb.

“It’s not funny…” Debbie sat down in the chair beside her bed. “You almost died, you fucking idiot.”

Lou smiled and tried to take a deep breath but she felt like there were millions of knives in her lungs and her ribs.

“I’m not planning on going anywhere, Deb.”

“Yeah, well, try harder…” Debbie looked away. Lou frowned, and when she went to talk, the door opened, letting in a nurse. 

***   
  


She used to fall asleep everywhere, even being a light sleeper, she remembered sleeping in a car during one of their jobs, remembered sleeping in a tent when Danny and her were just kids and wanted to camp in the backyard of their home… She slept a lot of times on the sofa, on the beach after a party in her teens, and of course on a shit mattress in jail. But she couldn’t sleep there, in a chair of the hospital room. Not because of the chair but because she was thinking about Lou and the miscarriage all the time. She felt a soft touch on her arm and opened her eyes. Nine Ball smiled in front of her. Of course she snuck in in the middle of the night.

“Debbie.” Nine Ball rubbed her arm “You should go home… ”

“No. I know she’s out of risk but….”

Lou moved and whimpered in her dreams. They both went out of the room to talk.

“Girl, you have to go home, eat something, see your daughter…”

“Is she?” Debbie bit her lip feeling awful. She had stayed away from Ziggy since the accident and it was two days ago… She hadn’t gone home and had barely talked with her by phone. 

“She’s asking all the time about Lou and you…She needs to know from you.”

“But the doctor said she could wake in the middle of the night and…”

“I’ll be right here with her.”

“I can stay too.”

They looked behind them, surprised. Constance was there, looking at them with a sad and guilty face; clearly she had been crying all day. They knew the relationship she had with Lou. They knew how the girl admired Lou and how hard it was for her to be there.

“I’m sorry, Deb,” she said, walking to her. “I know, I’m disappointed in myself but…” She started to cry and hugged her. “I couldn’t come …”

“Hey, hey…” Debbie said. “I know, Constance. I know. She’s ok. Don’t you worry, ok? She’s doing well.”

Constance looked at her and cleaned her tears. Debbie was comforting her even when she needed to trust her own words. She knew Lou was out of risk but she needed another surgery to repair her leg. Constance hugged her again.. Debbie kissed her check and looked at Nine Ball who was smiling at them.

“So…” Constance cleared her throat. “I stay here and you go home with Nine Ball?”

Debbie tried to refuse but Nine Ball was faster.

“She will call us if something happens. We will come quickly. Let’s go, I drive.” Debbie looked at them one more time and finally she followed Nine. Debbie knew the worst part wasn’t leaving Lou at the hospital away from her, the worst part will be facing a five year old girl and telling her why her mama wasn’t there with them.

***

She sat on the sofa and moved carefully, trying not to disturb Ziggy who was sleeping in her lap. She ran her fingers through her blonde hair and swallowed, caressing her daughter. After she arrived from the hospital, she told her missing details, about what had happened with Lou and why she couldn’t see her. Ziggy had a tantrum, (after all, she was just a kid and wanted to be with her mama) and finally, she got tired and fell asleep in Debbie’s arms.

Tammy kissed Nine Ball before she went upstairs to the guest room in the loft. They decided to spend the night there with Debbie and Ziggy. Debbie needed to take a shower, eat something and keep an eye on Ziggy, and Tammy knew she couldn’t do it all alone after the miscarriage and with her mind on Lou. 

“Debbie, are you really ok?” Tammy sighed. 

“Yeah,” she whispered and kissed Ziggy’s head. Ziggy moved and grabbed tightly to Debbie. She was blubbering in her dreams… 

“You know, I've known you since forever… Right?... God, Debbie I saw you before with Lou it her room…with the others... You’re acting like nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened, Tammy.”

Tammy swallowed. She couldn’t understand Debbie. She couldn’t understand why she didn’t cry, why she was acting normal and why she didn’t want to talk about it. Yeah, she was talking about Debbie Ocean, and Debbie Ocean didn’t like to talk about her feelings but she had just had the worst three days of her life… even worse than finding out that Danny was dead while she was in jail. 

“Deborah…”

“No, don’t  _ Deborah _ me, and don’t look at me that way… I’m fine. Go to sleep.”

Tammy opened her mouth ready to talk again but she knew it wouldn’t work. Debbie was really stubborn.

“Good night, Debbie,” she said softly.

“Night, Tam”.

Tammy went downstairs leaving Debbie almost in darkness, just illuminated by a reading light beside the sofa. Debbie looked around, finding she was alone with Ziggy and hugged her daughter tightly. 

Debbie’s tears slipped down her cheeks and she cried in silence feeling like something inside her was broken. She wasn’t ok, of course she wasn’t ok, but she couldn’t say anything to Lou in her state… She had to handle it by herself.


	16. The new normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new normal in Debbie's life after Lou's accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thaaaank you to the best beta @hope_savaria :) go read to her work of the marvelous heistwives toybox!!! Next Saturday is the last chapter so... you can read the 20 chapters now!
> 
> Stay safe people :) 
> 
> Ps: sorry I know this chapter is short. Sorry. Hope you like it anyway :)

Debbie tried to get back to normality as soon as she could, but the new normal, three weeks after the accident, was very different. She wanted to trust Lou; she wanted to leave her to do things herself, but she couldn’t, and they argued every day about her meds, about the rehab for her leg, and about Debbie being Lou’s shadow. She knew Lou was stronger than her, and she was doing really well, but Debbie was scared. She was really worried about everything, and the reality was she started to hate the loft with the two floors and a lot of stairs. They decided to stay there when Ziggy was a baby, but now… Lou was sleeping on the lower floor away from her. They decided it was better that way because she couldn’t move upstairs easily with the crutches and she needed to get good sleep, but Debbie missed sleeping with her wife, and the last two nights she had slept with her in the bed on the lower floor, trying not to move and disturb Lou’s sleep. Also, she was really worried about herself, and even though she was afraid about leaving Lou alone with Ziggy, she needed to go out and research the new heist.

When Debbie opened the front door and saw Lou in the kitchen, standing by one leg, she ran towards her, ignoring Ziggy, who was playing with her toys on the poker table.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Lou almost jumped, startled by her.

“Debbie... I just… I’m preparing a snack for our daughter,” she said, calm, licking the rest of the nutella off the knife.

Debbie moved around her, gave her the crutches and helped her to sit in a chair.

“Hey, hey I just have a broken leg… I can feed our daughter by myself…”

“I was right; I shouldn’t have gone out… You can’t stay alone with her… If something…” She breathed deeply. Debbie finished making the sandwich and took a bottle of peach juice from the fridge and a glass. She went to the poker table and left the food there; she poured the juice into the glass and kissed Ziggy’s head.

“Thank you, mom.” She smiled, and Debbie went back to the kitchen and sat beside Lou, who was reading a magazine.

“I’m sorry. I’m… I’m tired…”

Lou let the magazine fall to the table and looked at Debbie, grabbing her hand.

“Baby… I’m fine.” She kissed Debbie’s lips. “I know you were scared… I was too. But… now it’s just a bad memory. You have to trust me… I can take care of Ziggy too…” Debbie nodded. “So…how was the research?”

Debbie shook her head. She didn’t want to talk about it. It was just a waste of time and Tammy was really annoying about trying to talk about her feelings. She looked at Lou; she knew she wanted to talk about the next heist because she wanted to feel useful, to recover that part of her life, but it would be a while before Lou could participate in a new heist. She grabbed Lou’s magazine and then looked at her again.

“Really? Are you serious?” Debbie asked.

Lou smiled innocently. “My bike was a mess, baby, I really loved that bike but… A new one…”

“Nope.”

“Debbie…”

Debbie threw the magazine on the table, opened to the page where a  _ Triumph Street Scrambler  _ was marked. She crossed her arms. She knew she couldn’t ban Lou from buying a new bike, but she couldn’t understand how she could think about buying a new one after almost dying in an accident.

“You almost died… You should think more of Ziggy at least. That kid was suffering for you. I won’t tell you to think about your own life or about me… But…”

Lou swallowed. She understood Debbie’s point but she loved to ride her bike. It was the fourth best thing in her life after Debbie and Ziggy, her friends, and the heist… And then, riding a bike.

“When you left me… When I was a teenager… I don’t have a family like yours. I don’t have a Danny in my life, love. I was alone… Alone by myself, and I learned to drive and everything changed. I never felt alone on the road… When you left me… I drove… When I needed to think… I drove… When I knew about Ziggy… I drove.”

Debbie moved her fingers over Lou’s palm. She couldn’t look at her when she talked about the past.

“I know I almost died…” She bit her lip. “And you will never forgive me… But it wasn’t my fault babe… It wasn’t…It’s scary, but… life is hard…”

“Don’t make it harder then…”

“Debbie…” She took a deep breath. “I’m always scared. Even when I close my eyes, I’m afraid of not looking into yours ever again… That’s love. That’s life.”

Debbie stayed silent for a moment. Lou looked at her and stroked her hair. She grabbed Debbie’s jaw and kissed her lips. She sighed. Maybe it was too soon to push about a new bike… She still had a long way to recover the full movement of her leg.

“I don’t want to argue, baby,” Lou said.

“I don’t like the loft,” Debbie said, almost spat.

“What…?”

“I finished my sandwich,” Ziggy screamed from the poker table with her face all soiled with nutella.

***

They spent all afternoon playing with Ziggy together, without arguing or talking about what Debbie thought about the loft or Lou’s dream of a new bike. They had a good time, ignoring those conversations and doing everything that Ziggy wanted Debbie raged at Ziggy anytime she played too near Lou's leg or ribs without care, but even in those moments they had the best day since the accident.

They had Thai leftovers for dinner and watched a movie in Lou’s bed until Ziggy fell asleep and Debbie carried her to her own bed. She planned to sleep again in Lou’s bed on the lower floor, probably after a talk about why she hated the loft, but she wasn’t expecting Lou’s eyes looking at her that way when she went downstairs and approached her bed.

Lou was sitting, with her crutches beside her. She looked really serious. Her eyes weren’t that ice blue that looked at her with love… They were dark blue. Lou fixed her eyes on the floor, avoiding looking at her.

“Hey, what… happened?” Debbie frowned “Are you ok, are you in pain?” She walked to her, wanting to grab her hand, but she stopped when she saw Lou quiet, refusing to look at her. “Baby?” Debbie was getting really worried.

“When were you going to tell me?”

Debbie didn’t say anything.

“When were you going to tell me you were pregnant, Deb?”

“Lou…” She felt something break inside her, again, when the tears of Lou’s eyes slid down her cheek.


	17. Life is not easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things between Lou and Debbie are worse than ever and they need help. Debbie just needs a little push from Tammy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter, I hate it, I write and rewrite a lot and that’s all… I think it is just a transition chapter. I hope to keep writing soon… as soon as my writer’s block let me. Thanks for the comments, the patience and the kudos...
> 
> Also, thanks to my beta as always! Hope, you’re the best, amiga!
> 
> Ps: stay safe and black lives matter!

She wanted to run. She wished she could run, actually. But she couldn’t. The young Debbie, the Debbie before jail who didn’t have responsibilities would do it. But this Debbie, the married Debbie, the mother Debbie… She couldn’t leave her family… Even if the reason she wanted to run was Lou, an important part of her family. Actually, she wasn’t the reason. The reason she wanted to run was herself… She was the only guilty one in that precise moment as she sat on the edge of her bed crying after packing a bag and, of course, unpacking all over again. She was guilty of the sadness in Lou’s eyes and she would never forgive herself.

_ “It was my fault…” _

_ “No.” _

_ “So, why didn’t you tell me? If you didn’t tell me anything it’s because the miscarriage was my fault!” _

Lou’s broken voice still sounded in her mind. She collected all her clothes from the floor and left them on the mattress… She couldn’t run away… She couldn’t leave Ziggy or Lou.

_ Lou paced with the help of the crutches as her tears slid down her cheeks. She barely could look at Debbie. _

_ “We said… When we married…” _

_ “I know…,” Debbie said. “No more secrets” _

_ Lou nodded. _

_ “I wanna be alone…” Lou needed time to think. She was angry and sad. She knew if Debbie didn’t tell her anything it was because it really was her fault… Or maybe she didn’t trust her anymore… Or she was weak. _

_ Debbie tried to approach her, but she stopped when Lou looked at her. _

_ “I’ll be upstairs.” Debbie walked away, crying in silence. _

_ *** _

__

A week later, Lou’s leg was much better even though she still needed the crutches to move and still slept downstairs, though not just because of the leg… Debbie and she hadn’t talked to each other since she found out she had a miscarriage and everything blew up. Their conversation was limited to “good morning,” “goodnight,” and “thank you” - mostly because Ziggy was with them.

Lou was hurt… Really hurt, not just because of the argument, but because Debbie didn’t trust in her, because yet again she had decided for them without talking with her, because she felt guilty and because of their lost. She knew they needed help, and since she still needed time to herself and she wasn’t ready to confront her, she thought the best option to help Debbie was to call Tammy.

When Tammy arrived with Nine Ball at the loft and entered without calling, Lou was on the sofa playing with Ziggy.

“Auntie Tammy, Auntie Leslie!” She ran to them and Nine Ball grabbed her, and Tammy approached Lou. She helped her to stand up as Nine and Ziggy went out to the car to get the gift they bought for her.

They moved to the kitchen to get some drinks.

“Where is she?”

“Upstairs… She’s been up there almost all day, except to be with Ziggy…We’re acting like… I dunno, roommates…”

Tammy frowned. It sounded like the old Debbie, when they were teenagers and she was by herself because she only trusted herself and Danny.

“I told her…” Tammy got silent. She knew she shouldn’t say anything or she would betray Debbie, but Lou was her friend too and she thought she needed to know the truth. Tammy knew Lou wasn’t an idiot and just looking at her she knew what she wanted to say, even if that would lose her trust or her friendship, or Debbie’s friendship.

“When?” Lou looked at her. “So, you knew it too…? Of course, you knew…”

“Lou…”

Lou moved with the crutches and walked to the front door.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Tam. I call you because you’re who can help Debbie…” she looked at her. “Go with her…”

***

Tammy opened the door and entered Debbie's room. She was lying in bed with the lights off. She sighed and walked to the bed without saying anything and lay beside her. They didn’t need to say anything. Debbie recognized Tammy by her smell and smiled without opening her eyes. They stayed in silence for minutes until Debbie moved and looked directly into Tammy’s eyes. Tammy ran her fingers through Debbie’s hair, caressing her as a mom did.

“I wanted to run away,” she whispered.

“Debbie…”

“But I can’t.” She sighed. “She knows you knew, right?”

“Yeah.”

Debbie nodded. They both listened to Ziggy’s laugh from downstairs and smiled. Debbie was feeling the same as when she left Lou and went with Claude, but even though she was feeling awful, having Ziggy in her life was the only thing that changed everything… She would never tire of her, of her laugh, her hugs… She never could run away from her baby.

“I really wanna be a mom… again,” she cried.

“But you’re a mom, Debs, and I get it, a miscarriage is the worst you can…”

“You don’t know, Tams, sorry, but you can’t say that when having your kids was….easy…”

Tammy nodded. She was right, she couldn’t imagine. The truth was she got pregnant with Derek because a night of tequila with James and getting pregnant with Keri was really easy. Debbie needed a crazy night with a strange guy and a lot of treatments with Lou… It wasn’t fair.

“I just… I just say that if you stay up here all day… You're going to lose them too, baby…” Tammy had her hand on Debbie’s back, caressing her. “You can’t act like the old Debbie, you’re stronger than her…and of course, Lou is mad and sad…but you two need to fix up everything…for Ziggy…for both of you…”

Debbie hid her face in the pillow, crying. She was right, if she didn’t do anything, she would probably lose them. She needed help.

“You need help…”

“I….I know.” She looked at her and stood up, her face and her hair were a mess. “I know I can’t stay here all day, blaming myself because I had a miscarriage or for arguing with Lou…”

“As if you guys don’t argue, huh…” Tammy laughed.

“You idiot…” Debbie threw a pillow at her.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“Get back to my family…”

__

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for read. Please leave kudos and a comment and let me know what you think. prompts are totally allowed :) 
> 
> Find me at tumblr: @littlesarux  
> 
> 
> <3


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